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Why does this bother me? Am I just hyper-sensitive or is this a genuine problem that could use some addressing?
I have worked on many different general construction crews for many years in the past. It seemed inevitable that each one of these crews had their ‘scapegoat’. You know, that one person who invariably got accused every time something was installed wrong, measured wrong or simply wrong. Along with that, there seemed to be a general attitude of superiority present in the heart of every employee. This seemed to be across the board (though more pronounced on specific crews).
Recently, due to some seemingly unfortunate and unexpected circumstances, I have found myself again working general construction to generate some cash flow. Much to my chagrin I have found that though working on an altogether different crew, in a different state hundreds of miles from the previous experience, with a completely different caliber people, in an entirely different circumstance, some things just seem to be universal.
Why?
I asked one person (who happens to know most, if not all, the people I’m working with) why this was. He responded with this, ‘Oh, that’s just the way you tell (name withheld to protect privacy) that you love him. That’s his love language.’ I sort of sloughed it off thinking maybe I was the one who was overreacting. However, the next day when that ‘loved’ person wasn’t there the castigating continued just the same, with him still receiving (in his absence) the brunt of it. Meanwhile, general attitudes of superiority and lack of confidence started to be seen among the other personnel.
I really don’t think the attitudes I described are genuine, but nevertheless, that almost makes their presence worse. Why would a group of men who bow their heads and pray together daily before embarking on their occupational journey need or want to undermine one another’s authority or ability? Why would they assume that constant badgering and casting doubt on one another’s skills and strengths was ‘showing love’? Why does there seem to be no comprehension of the emotional harm being done?
Or am I just being hyper-sensitive and overreacting?
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2 comments:
I was the "scapegoat" on many a job site. I loved every minute of it.
Seriously. I even "fed" it.
One day, on one job, it stopped cold turkey. Someone on the crew got sensitive to it like you just did. It was a miserable day until I asked what was up, it was explained, and we all laughed together.
At the same time, I have seen it be cruel and mean. God forbid!
At my job we blame a guy named Tony.
He hasn't even worked here for about two years, but in some of our programing and mechanical decisions, failures can take that long to show up.
I really doubt when someone blames Tony that anyone else really thinks that they really mean it. Often it is more of a way of saying "Wonder how that happened?"
In my own experience, I have found that the whole "game" can often be the work of one person. Others are just easily influenced. I like to think that its our job to build up our fellows.
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