Friday, July 18, 2008

Pondering the Deep Thing of Life!

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Is atheism is a non-prophet organization?

Why do phone companies give you a number to call if your phone doesn't work?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding what is it expanding into?

Corn oil is made from corn, Olive oil is made from olives, so what does baby oil come from?

Why don’t roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Why do you often see a shoe lying on the side of the street?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?

If a cow laughed would milk come out its nose?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injection?

How come you never hear about grunted employees?

If a parsley farmer is sued can he garnish his wages?

Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID?

Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

Why do we have to dry raincoats?

Does chewing gum lose its flavor on the bed post overnight?

Why do doughnuts have holes?

Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?

How can there be self-help groups?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why do we call it a hamburger when it is made from beef?

Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly?

If you're born again do you have two belly buttons?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation or a murder?

Why do corn flakes and Sugar frosted flakes have the save number of calories per serving?

Where do all the missing socks go?

Why does the psychic hotline ask for your credit card number? Shouldn't they already know it?

Why does slow down and slow up mean the same thing?

If air travel is so safe, why do they call it a "terminal"?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Just before someone gets nervous do they experience cocoons in their stomachs?

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

What does the Q in Q-tip stand for?

If a mute swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Why doesn't onomatopoeia sound like what it is?

If the cops arrest a mime do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

How do they get deer to cross at the yellow sign?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

If something was miss-spelled in a dictionary how would we know

Where do swear words come from?

Was the only reason God gave us a shin is to find things in the dark?

Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called a shipment but when you transport something by ship it is called cargo?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Does a fish get cramps after eating?

If fire fighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?

If you're an atheist and swear on the bible, have you committed perjury?

If horrific is akin to horrible, why isn't terrific akin to terrible?

Why is it when a door is open it's ajar but when a jar is open isn't not adoor?

If it is zero degrees outside today and it is supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they get Teflon to stick to the pan?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

If someone with multiple personalities robs a bank who is charged with the crime?

Why do old men wear their pants higher than young men do?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read all right?

Why is yawning contagious?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why do banks charge you a " non sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, than who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Is there another word for synonym?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

If a man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Why don't we get goosebumps on our face?

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

Why is it when you get from here to there, you're still here and not there?

What are preparations A-G?

Why do men's bicycles have crossbars?

If vegetarians eat vegetables what do humanitarians eat?

What is the purpose of that little ball on top of the flagpole?

Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why do they call them straight jackets when they are never straight?

If 75% of all accidents occur within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

Why is it that when you are driving and looking for an address you turn the radio down?

How does the guy who runs the snowplow get to work in the morning?

If a person kills their clone is it murder or suicide?

Can your face actually freeze while making ugly faces?

Why do they say new and improved? It can't be new if it was improved can it?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

If trailer parks didn't exist would tornadoes exist?

If WalMart is lowering prices daily, how come nothing in the store is free yet?

If you can't drink and drive why do gas stations sell beer?

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3 comments:

TinaJewel said...

Here is just one answer to all your questions!

Why do doughnuts have holes?

The question as to why doughnuts have holes has been raised by dozens of bakers over the years, but most agree that the answer to this sticky question lies in the fact that the interior of these fried cakes would not cook fully without a hole in the center. In short, the consistency of a doughnut lacking a hole would be, quite simply, doughy.

Another riveting theory as to the origin of the bulls eye in the doughnut holds that a sea captain named Hanson Gregory, while manning his post one stormy night, found it impossible both to steer his vessel and to eat his fried cake. Out of sheer frustration, and probably out of hunger, he impaled his cake over one of the spokes of the ship's wheel, thereby creating a finger hold with which to grip the cake. Quite pleased with his ingenuity, Mr. Gregory ordered the galley's cook to fry the cakes in that manner henceforth.

Whatever the reason for the hole in the doughnut, this fried cake, with or without a hole, has been incorporated into the diets of people throughout the world for centuries. In fact, archaeologists found petrified fried cakes with holes amongst the artifacts of a primitive Indian tribe.

Margaret said...

hilarious :)

Brad said...

"Cocoons in your stomach" takes the prize. I'm going to start saying it when I think I'm going to get nervous.