Schedule on a Crash Course

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I am facing a ministry dilemma. My dilemma is this, I believe in and am committed to expositional preaching/teaching; not only expositional preaching, but preferably sequential expositional preaching; line upon line, precept upon precept, verse by verse, thought by thought through the writings of Scripture. What does all this have to do with my dilemma? This...

Recently, at the prison where I minister, there have been significant scheduling changes. These changes have divided the entire population into three groups for all activities (chow, rec, religious services, commissary, school, etc). These three groups have religious services on a rotating schedule week by week. One week group one will have services Sun 10 am and Wed 7 pm. The next week group 2 has that schedule and group one has services Sun 2 pm and Thur 7 pm. The next week group 3 has the first schedule, group two the second schedule and group one has services Sat 2 pm and Tue 7 pm.

My ministry team has two services a month. Our service schedule is the second Saturday at 2 pm and the third Thursday at 7 pm. Here's the dilemma, two services, three groups. In any given month, because of their schedule, I'll minister to two of the three groups. On the next month I'll minister to one of the groups from the previous month and the third group. Add to this confusion a fifth Thursday (or a fifth Saturday) and suddenly I've seen one group twice before seeing another of the groups again.

My question is this, how does one maintain consistency of sequential exposition to any (and all) given group within the chaos of that particular service schedule?
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Can You Disagree?

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Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
-Walter Lippmann

That which has always been accepted by everyone, everywhere, is almost certain to be false.
-Paul Valery

The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.
-Sir Richard Francis Burton

Anybody can observe the Sabbath [or any of the other 'letters' of the Law for that matter], but making it holy surely takes the rest of the week.
-Alice Walker
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Pondering the Deep Thing of Life!

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Is atheism is a non-prophet organization?

Why do phone companies give you a number to call if your phone doesn't work?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding what is it expanding into?

Corn oil is made from corn, Olive oil is made from olives, so what does baby oil come from?

Why don’t roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Why do you often see a shoe lying on the side of the street?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?

If a cow laughed would milk come out its nose?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injection?

How come you never hear about grunted employees?

If a parsley farmer is sued can he garnish his wages?

Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID?

Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

Why do we have to dry raincoats?

Does chewing gum lose its flavor on the bed post overnight?

Why do doughnuts have holes?

Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?

How can there be self-help groups?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why do we call it a hamburger when it is made from beef?

Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly?

If you're born again do you have two belly buttons?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation or a murder?

Why do corn flakes and Sugar frosted flakes have the save number of calories per serving?

Where do all the missing socks go?

Why does the psychic hotline ask for your credit card number? Shouldn't they already know it?

Why does slow down and slow up mean the same thing?

If air travel is so safe, why do they call it a "terminal"?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Just before someone gets nervous do they experience cocoons in their stomachs?

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

What does the Q in Q-tip stand for?

If a mute swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Why doesn't onomatopoeia sound like what it is?

If the cops arrest a mime do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

How do they get deer to cross at the yellow sign?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

If something was miss-spelled in a dictionary how would we know

Where do swear words come from?

Was the only reason God gave us a shin is to find things in the dark?

Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called a shipment but when you transport something by ship it is called cargo?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Does a fish get cramps after eating?

If fire fighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?

If you're an atheist and swear on the bible, have you committed perjury?

If horrific is akin to horrible, why isn't terrific akin to terrible?

Why is it when a door is open it's ajar but when a jar is open isn't not adoor?

If it is zero degrees outside today and it is supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they get Teflon to stick to the pan?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

If someone with multiple personalities robs a bank who is charged with the crime?

Why do old men wear their pants higher than young men do?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read all right?

Why is yawning contagious?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why do banks charge you a " non sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, than who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Is there another word for synonym?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

If a man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Why don't we get goosebumps on our face?

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

Why is it when you get from here to there, you're still here and not there?

What are preparations A-G?

Why do men's bicycles have crossbars?

If vegetarians eat vegetables what do humanitarians eat?

What is the purpose of that little ball on top of the flagpole?

Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why do they call them straight jackets when they are never straight?

If 75% of all accidents occur within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

Why is it that when you are driving and looking for an address you turn the radio down?

How does the guy who runs the snowplow get to work in the morning?

If a person kills their clone is it murder or suicide?

Can your face actually freeze while making ugly faces?

Why do they say new and improved? It can't be new if it was improved can it?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

If trailer parks didn't exist would tornadoes exist?

If WalMart is lowering prices daily, how come nothing in the store is free yet?

If you can't drink and drive why do gas stations sell beer?
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But You NEED Structure.......!!

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Fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva (FOP), is an extremely rare disease of the connective tissue. A mutation of the body's repair mechanism causes fibrous tissue (including muscle, tendon, and ligament) to be ossified when damaged.
There is no known cure for FOP.

I heard a quick diddy on the radio yesterday about this disease. The announcement went on to say that death is imminent for FOP patients; or basically, TOO MUCH STRUCTURE IMPEDES LIFE!!! I already knew that, though!
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Get Real

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When I first heard about this I thought it surely wasn't true. I figured it was some kind of joke and someone was just having fun on their blog or something. However, sadly enough, it's true! Apparently some people don't take the Word at its word!
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The Act of (Personal) Justification

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Why does it seem like conservative, religious types always have to justify every decision they make? In my dealing with many different conservative, Christian cultures I've found that they seldom do anything because. Instead they have thought through and reasoned every act and are prepared to justify every act, every purchase, every decision. Why can they not say they did something, 'simply because we wanted to'?
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Maintenance Issues

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We've all had one. You know, that high maintenance vehicle that 'nickle and dimed' you to death. That one car that you should have sold long before you finally did. Replacement was an viable option many miles before it was actually a reality. The car that was almost like a family member, name and all. Eventually, though, the time came when you simply had to remove it from the fleet because it was costing too much in constant repairs. The time had come and it had to go. You could no longer afford to have it in the family. The parting was hard, but necessary because of the out of pocket expense it caused you on a routine basis.

Everyone knows what I'm talking about. We've all been there.

There are also inter-personal relationships which border on the same issue. You know, those 'high-maintenance' friendships. That friend who always has a problem needing a solution. That person who always sees the one cloud on the distant horizon. That person who pulls down the atmosphere of every room they enter and every conversation they engage in because of their tendency toward gloom and doom. You know who I mean because you've met them. We all know them. They're in our churches. They're in our small group. They're in our circle of friends. They're everywhere.

Surely sometime it's necessary to weigh the cost with the benefit received from such a relationship. Surely it's eventually excuseable to cease intimate relations with such an individual. Certainly such a person drags others down. No one can deny a sense of premonition when that person enters and relief when they depart. Why should you be forced to maintain such a relationship?

Are their problems legitimate? Possibly. Are their concerns valid? Probably. Do they offer verifiable dilemma's? Likely, but shouldn't they just 'act' happy? Shouldn't they force a bounce into their step and a chirp in their voice? Shouldn't they smile in the face of such disaster as they seem to perpetually experience?

Shouldn't they?

Shouldn't we?

Shouldn't I?

Could someone check my fluids? Please!
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Random Quotes on Prayer

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If Christians spent as much time praying as they do grumbling, they would soon have nothing to grumble about

When thou prayest, rather let thy heart be without words than thy words without heart.
-John Bunyan

Prayer requires more of the heart than of the tongue. –Adam Clarke

He prays well who is so absorbed with God that he does not know he is praying. -St. Francis of de Sales


The fewer the words the better the prayer. --Martin Luther

We are not told that Jesus ever taught His disciple how to preach, but He taught them how to pray. – D L Moody

Some men's prayer need to be cut short at both ends and set on fire in the middle. -D.L. Moody

Prayer is not eloquence but earnestness
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