Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Self-Revelation

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Six years ago when I was converted my Christian experience was mostly emotional. I suppose this is the normal response of a heart which being consumed with sin has been set free. Nevertheless, the whole of my conviction lay solely in the realm of emotionalism. Much of what I was 'called' to do stemmed from a sensational approach to my relationship with the Lord. The scripture was, to me, a book of proverbial quotable quotes. My approach to the scripture was casual and haphazard. My prayer life dwelt almost exclusively in the arena of feelings and emotions. My Christian experience was mystical. I was 'spiritual'.

For several years I lived like that. I surrounded myself with others who experienced Christ in much the same way. We all felt good to be Christians. However, I found myself noticing an emptiness in my experience. I found joy waxing, peace waning and reality wandering. Then, by God's grace and favor, I met a brother who challenged my approach to the scripture. He introduced me to a radically different concept of Christianity and its relationship with scripture and ultimately with the Savior. This new awareness brought life to my experience. Suddenly I found reality in a whole new way. But now............

Now I find myself taking an academic approach to scripture. Since I resist sensationalism and I don't trust my emotions, I approach the Bible much like a student approaches a textbook. And beyond that, I find myself preaching from this postion of academia. I have realized that I handle the word like a teacher handles his lessons. I have somehow lost sight of the fact that the scripture is a living word. Somewhere in my self-awareness I lost connection with the relevation of the Spirit through the word, and it has become cold, hard facts to be articulated/received from a conservative, religious perspective.

Please pray with me for a proper perspective of the Lord, the revelation of His will through scripture, and the proper relationship of His Spirit to our hearts.
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3 comments:

Sam Garber said...

You came dangerously close to saying something - it might fit with what I'm experiencing but I'm not quite sure.

Anonymous said...

I can relate, Bro. You are not alone. You have articulated your angst very well here. I have resolved that we are always going to walk this tightrope you speak of trying to put in proper balance our intellectual knowledge of the Lord and our emotional experience of Him.

I appreciate your heartfelt and honest posts.

Looking Upward said...

Very well expressed. I experience some of the same feelings.

However, I believe that we can process the logic and the Truth of the Scripture and be 'on fire spiritually'.