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As I was mowing my mother's lawn today her neighbor's 15 yr old daughter came out of the house and started walking down the road. At 15 she is in 'mid-bloom' and no doubt struggling (as with any mid-teen) to find her identity. The thing I noticed the most about her was her particular choice of clothing. Her long-sleeved blouse was extremely low cut, maximizing the minimal amount of womanhood she possessed. Given my age, she is young enough to be my daughter and that caused me to consider my own daughters. I have two daughters ages 11 & 8.
As I continued to mow I began praying, asking what causes an innocent girl such as this to dress in such a provocative way. (That's the pious version of what I did.)
(The natural version goes like this.) I said to myself, 'My daughters will NEVER be caught in public looking like that. (The actual version lies somewhere between those two responses.) However, the thought came to me that daughters seek their father's approval. Just as I notice who and what is around me, my daughters notice what catches my attention. When I second-glance a scantily clad female my girls register this in their sub-conscious as a way to get Dad's attention. When I comment on the beauty of a seemingly less than credible female my daughters again file that information away for future recollection.
As these thoughts flooded me I suddenly realized that the exact opposite could also hold true. If I comment on the genuine beauty of a fully-clothed and serene, peaceful lady my daughters will realize that serenity and peace are qualities their father admires in women. As I interact with their mother (with all her old-fashioned qualities) in such a way that they can recognize true passion and love, their inner person which is seeking acceptance from me will emulate their mother's qualities in order to gain their father's attention and approval, will they not?
And what about our sons? Our sons also notice how 'true' men act toward women and what kind of women 'true' men recognize. Sons tend to imitate their Dad. As a recovering pornography and sex addict I take this fact serious. I have begged God to break any chain of addiction and give my sons true freedom in this area. My sons are 10, 3 and 1. I hope and pray that as my sons watch their father live life, they will see that godly qualities and character are the most admirable attributes in a wife. I pray that the Lord will continue to deliver me from the sexual bondages I have been challenged with in the past so that my sons can enter life and marriage with right concepts.
But now the question rides on you! Dad's, what kind of women do your sons and daughters witness you 'admiring'? Does your glance stray or stay too high or too low when female's are around? Can you make eye contact with women and be satisfied or must you examine their anatomy further? Men, your children ARE watching you. Your sons are learning how to treat women and your daughters are learning what kind of woman to be.
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- brother_barabbas
- Eldorado, Ohio, United States
- Who am I? It has nothing to do with who I am! I am the one in whom dwells no good thing. I am as the grass of the field, here one day and ground into flour the next. I am the disciple who Jesus loved! Why, not because of who I am, but because of what HE's done! It has everything to do with what HE's done! He sealed my pardon with His blood! He bought me back from the slave auction, by giving His life. He's done it all! He continually intercedes on my behalf to the Father!
Brains I Pick
6 comments:
Thank you! My husband just told me he liked my old-fashioned qualities. :)
Great post ! I just happened upon your site and appreciated what I read! As a wife and a mother of twin 16 year old sons and having a daughter I wish more people would think about this!
This may add to your nightmare. I always admired pinup women and flashy stars. To my eye I thought it was spectacular and always wanted to be a stage actress in fancy wigs or the woman in the pin-up photo. My parents are very old fashioned and I followed their example for a while. I had the smarts to do just about anything with my life but I gravitated toward the nomadic existence of the tawdry Opera singer who'll do anything for applause and the spotlight. One thing I'd hate hate hate is for my parents to somehow blame themselves for my 'demise' as some would see it. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I love my parents awful, AS IS, and have the highest of respect for them and their choices. But my choices, my mistakes, my lack of sound judgement at times - yeah, that's all my junk. :-/ They did their best which is all anyone could ask for and I love them for it.
What do I know about rasing kids? Dont have any. I do believe that the most influential thing you can do for your children is to demonstrate your relationship with Christ. If they have that they have everything.
Amen and amen. Well said. To God be all glory.
A friend of mine left his church when he noticed his pastor in line at a grocery store, ogling all of the exposed bosoms. Yes, people ARE watching us, all the time!
Excellent, tear-producing post.
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