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Why is it so hard to trust the Lord?
Just over 100 days ago I (very unexpectedly) joined the ranks of the unemployed. During this 3+ month 'journey' I have had seasons of confidence and faith, but often Renita and I find ourselves faithless and distrusting. I feel like I have pursued every job from Muncie, Indiana to Springfield, Ohio and Sidney to Cincinnati. I have made phone calls, driven miles to make 'surprise' appearances, scheduled interviews, emailed resumes, pursued leads, written follow-up letters, made more phone calls, driven more miles, scheduled more interviews and on and on and on. All the while, I have been trying to find 'temporary' employment to keep food on the table and the wolves from the door.
I know the Lord says He will provide for His own. I know that 'all things work together for good to those who love Him'. I know that good things come to those who wait. But....
During the last months I've heard....
'Sorry sir, we filled that position internally.'
'We appreciate your interest in this position, but we have begun final negotiations with another candidate. We'll contact you if it doesn't work out.'
'Thank you for your interest, but we don't feel you possess the qualifications we are looking for with our verticals.'
'That position was filled from another location.'
'You were by far the most qualified candidate we interviewed, but we've decided to leave the position vacant at this time'
'We're going through resume's at this time and we definitely want to get you in for an interview.' (that was over 6 weeks ago)
'5 years from now we'll look back and laugh at how we thought the world fell apart when this happened.' (ha ha........i think!)
And then tonite I randomly open up the Scripture and what do I read?
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.....Since you are precious in My sight, since you are honored and I love you, I will give other men in your place and other peoples in exchange for your life. Do not fear, for I am with you;
And yet reality seems much more like Renita said, 'What's the use in praying? I pray and try to trust, and yet God doesn't seem to hear or do anything. And I know that attitude is counterproductive to my prayer's effectiveness, but nothing changes, nevertheless!' Amen! That's what I say, 'AMEN!!!'
Do not fear? Why not? I will deliver you, God says. When? That what I want to know, when?
And WHY is it SOOOOO hard to trust?
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2 comments:
Sounds like you've had a very discouraging 3 months. I'm sure the load feels very heavy with a big family to take care of.
What line of work are you looking for? My husband at 65 just completed a CNA course and is ready to start work. The papers are full of want adds for CNAs. Some of his training was in a hospital and he loved it because it was helping people. You seem good with people! Would something like that be a posibility?
We'll be praying or you. God knows where your at and He knows your need. We wonder sometimes "WHY?" when it seems God is silent. Fo what ever reason sometimes His answer is "Wait!" Maybe God is preparing you for somthing BIG, and is teaching you about blind faith.
I wish I had answers for you, but I don't. We both know Who has the answers ~ but how or when He chooses to impart them to us? We can only wait ~ what other choice is there? May His presence be very real to you and may His deliverance come very soon to you and yours ~
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