A son of The FATHER

What's Going On Inside of Me?

2012-02-21T10:06:00.001-05:00

To say I am conflicted is to drastically understate the turmoil I feel in my spirit. I have recently known a season of spiritual warfare and confusion unlike anything I’ve known in my Christian experience. As a result of this experience I find myself asking questions I never dreamed I’d ask. Questions like, 'What’s going on inside of me?'

Inside my head I know certain things to be true which barely ‘feel’ true anymore. Inside my heart I know certain other things to feel true which every ‘wise counselor’ assures me are false. Honestly, what’s going on inside of me? Is my heart lying to me? Am I not permitted to have the feelings of safety and encouragement; or is my head (and all the wise counselors) lying to me? It just seems like a huge convoluted mess.

My heart deceives me, I know. Recently I have even allowed my heart to deceive me to the degree of leading me into an area of sinful disobedience; an area in which I couldn’t believe I found myself. My heart is depraved, yes, and that depravity is deep. Does this mean that I cannot find solace and comfort from the pain?

Similarly, my head’s commitment to truth becomes cold and academic; almost clinical. Surely there’s a Truth that lies somewhere between my heart’s depravity and my head’s intellectual approach. Surely Jesus is in the business of dispelling darkness and lifting fog. Surely He can answer the question of what’s going on inside of me.

An Aching Void The World Can Never Fill

2010-11-08T22:03:00.000-05:00

The year was 1998.

At that point in my life I was a 24 yr old man with a wife, 2 kids and a job. I was involved in the same conservative religious sub-culture in which I had grown up as a kid. It had been 10 yrs since I had officially aligned myself with the group; though I had never really been misaligned since birth. It was all I had ever known. I was also deeply addicted to pornography and had serious anger issues. In an attempt to overcome my sin I became more and more entrenched in non-conformity and asceticism. While this lifestyle had the appearance of wisdom, such self-abasement and severe treatment of the body was of no value against fleshly indulgences.

Due to the fact that none of my attempts were producing any lasting fruit of righteousness I eventually concluded that religion was nothing more than an illusion; while there was probably a being who created, he was obviously disinterested, at best, in our lives; Christianity was simply a playact in which the actors and the audience were one and the same (and I was as equipped as anyone to continue following the script); death was the eventual end of it all for each of us. These conclusions didn’t quite feel right, however, so I made one last ‘all or nothing’ attempt to clear the confusion in my mind. I called out to God.

My calling out was not what you normally think of when you hear a sinner speak of calling out to God, though; it was more of a barter, a challenge, a dare. I decided that there were a few different things to which I needed answers simultaneously. Was there indeed a God? Was he remotely interested in the details of our life? Was there an afterlife (what I had always heard referred to as heaven, or paradise)? If he existed and if there was some form of an afterlife; was I satisfying his expectations well enough to gain me his acceptance? Those were the questions that led me to the challenge, or dare.

At the time I was working on a commercial steel erection crew building a structure on the back side of Lafayette, IN. This building was kind of out of the way with nothing much around it at the time. Seldom did we see much activity except construction related traffic and people, which made the likelihood of the challenge all the more unlikely. This was intentional; I was presenting a challenge to a god whom I wasn’t positive existed which would require extremely abnormal circumstances in order to come to pass. I think deep in my heart I was afraid of what I knew to be the certain answer. The challenge went like this, ‘If there is an after life, a heaven, and if I’m unprepared to stand and be judged worthy for acceptance into the same, place a [specific item related to my current addiction] in plain sight on the job site tomorrow.’ That was my fleece and, like Gideon’s, it was highly unlikely.

It happened.

I dismissed it as chance.

The next day I ‘fleeced’ it again. This particular thing had never happened before so I was certain it was impossible on subsequent days. It happened…again…the very next day. Suffice it to say God had my attention but I didn’t know how to respond.

I immediately decided that I had to have answers. Period. I would stop at nothing to find these answers. Answers to the questions about salvation, victory over sin, Christian experience and anything else you could think of related to the subject. The problem was, though, I wasn’t sure where to turn so I went to the only place I could think of, the Bible. I was familiar (raised in church) and unfamiliar (never made personal application) with it all at the same time.

I poured myself into studying this book.

I didn’t know how to study. I didn’t know where, in the book, to look for answers. Daily I rose and spent 1-2 hrs combing through its pages. Asking questions; seeking answers. Nothing could deter me from my quest to find answers to nagging questions about the emptiness I felt in my soul.

For the next 3 1/2 years I maintained this daily regimen, alone. I dared not admit to anyone that I was a hypocrite, a fake. I was a reasonably respected member in my local church who was meeting all the expectations of the other members and leadership. How could I drop the mask and let those people see who Aaron Hoblit really was?

The date is now early 2002.

By this time I have come to realize that the Christian ‘god’ (whom I understand theologically to be somehow connected to Jesus) is both real and interested in our individual lives. I also understand that prayer is [somehow] an integral part of the whole equation. I realized that ‘relationship’ was the buzz word used when referencing this interaction with this god. (Though the church I affiliated with seemed to minimize this concept.) I could also recognize the difference between those who ‘had it’ and those who didn’t.

Vivid in my memory is a Sunday evening sitting with several families in a living room setting when one brother casually says, ‘Let’s go around the room and have everyone share their testimony of conversion.’ What was a casual statement for him was a catastrophic turn of events for me. I was very aware of the lack of such a ‘testimony’ in my life. I panicked. Suffering from a head cold at the time I feigned laryngitis. Serious. Drastic circumstances call for drastic measures.

I’m not certain how deliberate my prayer was in the next few weeks but it went like this, ‘Lord, give me one of these ‘testimonies of conversion’ so I won’t be embarrassed the next time the subject comes up.’ Noble? Hardly, but He heard; and answered. Three weeks later on a Tuesday afternoon he did just that.

Damascus Road. Darkness to light. Dead to life. Something significant changed that day.

My fire had been lit and nothing could put it out. I continued my habit of rising early (sometimes as early as 3:30-4 am) and spending a significant amount of time in the Scriptures. Daily I was receiving new revelations. Prayer permeated my every waking moment. I began distributing gospel tracts everywhere I went and sharing the gospel with everyone I met (whether they wanted to hear it or not!); customers, bank tellers, waitresses, store clerks, friends, family, strangers, everyone. People who had previously known me began asking what had happened--pointing to positive changes in my life and habits.

God began opening doors for ministry. Street evangelism. Prison ministry. Worldwide online evangelism. Music ministry. The sweetness of what had happened in my life simply needed to be told. I was a dying patient who had met a man who had completely healed me of my sickness called sin and I was on a quest to tell every other patient dying of the same ailment. Nothing could stop me. Nothing.

Fast forward nearly 9 years to present day.

Where is that blessedness I knew
When first I saw the Lord?
Where is the soul refreshing view
Of Jesus and His Word?

As I look back over the last several years I realize that something dampened the fire. My zeal to ‘save the world’ has become slightly cynical. The passion I had to share the gospel with everyone I met has been replaced with complacency. The desire I for constant communication with my Father has been reduced to Post-It ™ Note prayers. My study of the Scripture has become academic. My habits have become loose.

What peaceful hours I once enjoyed!
How sweet their memory still!

While I’m aware that this experience is common to mature Christians something tells me it doesn’t have to be this way.

Return, O holy Dove! return,
Sweet messenger of rest!

The Mysterious Paradox

2009-11-17T06:55:00.001-05:00

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[The gospel] is not a question to be answered or a puzzle to be solved. It is a paradox to be relished, a wild, outrageous secret to be astonished at and then snitched to the world as the greatest joke ever told...The Mystery of Christ is a festival of weakness and foolishness on the part of God...something that makes no more sense than the square root of minus one--something that is deaf to our cries for intelligible explanations but that works when it is put into the equation of the world--something that can only be marveled at because it is preposterously Good News. The Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, has one Word for us: God has upped and done the damnedest thing. Or, to get the direction and adjectives right, God has downed and done the blessedest thing we could ever not have thought of.

-Robert Farrar Capon
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Step Seven

2009-11-16T07:12:00.000-05:00

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I have been reading 12 Steps For The Recovering Pharisee (like me), John Fischer. This book uses the 12 step model of recovery, though he rewrites the steps to be applicable to Phariseeism and overcoming such legalistic, self-righteous habits in our own life. The following is chapter 7. I know it's a rather lengthy passage, but hopefully you can find the time to read and consider it. It has especially spoken to me.

Step 7
We embrace the belief that we are, and will always be, experts at sinning.

In the course of one private conversation between the two of them, my mother informed my wife that I didn’t sin. Now, my wife had been married to me for over ten years at the time, and, as you can imagine, she had a somewhat differing opinion on the subject of my sinfulness or lack of it. I was pretty shocked myself to hear of my supposed perfection, and though I would love to believe my mother, I’m afraid my wife knows better. Though we often joke about this now, I wonder what would bring my mother to pose such a preposterous claim about me. Aside from the expected parental my-son-can-do-no-wrong myth, was there anything more indicated in this dubious assessment? I believe that there might have been.

Many evangelicals mistakenly believe that a person’s spirituality and closeness to God are inversely proportionate to the amount of sin in that person’s life. More sin, less of God; more of God, less sin, the ultimate goal being sinlessness—a state that no one we know has actually achieved, but is theoretically plausible nonetheless. I guess my mother had me so close to God that I had to be sinless in her mind.

This equation is carefully bolstered by glowing testimonies and the close-to-perfection reputations of those who are close to God. Ministers and those in “full-time Christian service” are closer than anybody and thus the furthest from sin. This is why it is so devastating to the church when these close-to-perfect people fall prey to a terrible moral failure. The result is shock and disbelief. They were so spiritual; how could this have happened?

The big Christian lie

In his charming coming-of-age novel, Portofino, Frank Schaeffer, son of Francis and Edith Schaeffer, two of the most important Christian thinkers in the last three decates, strips the veneer away from what many must have thought was the ideal Christian family.

Frank—formerly Franky—paints a picture in this novel of a fundamentalist evangelical family on vacation in Italy over the course of two summers. The parallels between the story and what I know about Frank’s own family and childhood are everywhere. In the story we see a distant, silent father, who in public is fighting for a culturally relevant biblical orthodoxy but in private is prone to huge mood swings and a violent temper, a wife who fights with him over which one of them is more spiritual, and children who are forced to be “biblical” before they know what any of it means. Though some of the situations are humorous and charming, others are too painfully real to just be funny. Having grown up in a similar evangelical family caught in a public and private dichotomy, I find Portofino cathartic, to say the least.

In looking into this story, I discovered that I have two reactions to this dysfunctional Christian family. The first is to take some pleasure in their shortcomings because then I can feel somehow better about mine. The second reaction is to be disappointed. Something inside me wishes Frank hadn’t uncovered this flawed family portrait because then I could go on believing that at least someone I revered, like Francis and Edith Schaeffer, had gotten it right.

It occurs to me that this second reaction could be thought of as the big Christian lie. That is, the belief that somebody, somewhere, got it right. Don’t we flock to speakers and singers who are up front and important because they are getting it right, and aren’t they up ther be we expect that of them? When it comes painfully obvious that in some area of their lives they did not get it right, aren’t they promptly removed from their place? Aren’t all those smiling people on the covers of Christian books telling us how we, too, can get it right if we follow their advice? If we didn’t worship at the altar of getting it right, there wouldn’t be a market for half this stuff.

But have no fear, Christian entrepreneurs, the market is not in any danger, because this appeal has held human beings in its grip ever since Moses came down the mountain with God’s top ten list for getting it right. And we all carry on with the lie.

The lure of ‘almost’

Unfortunately, getting it right is not the issue. If we were all facing sin more realistically, we would not be so surprised when it shows up in the life of a spiritual leader. (I sometimes fear what my children will write about me!) If we were being truthful about who we really are—all of us—we would know that our leaders are human, just as we are.

Sometimes I wonder if we want our spiritual leaders to be perfect so we don’t have to be. As long as we believe somebody’s perfect, we can go on perpetuating the myth that perfection is possible and keep on shrouding our own sin safely behind the lie of ‘almost.’ We are almost there. We have almost arrived. We are almost holy. One more book, one more seminar, one more revival service, and we will be just like the person on the cover of the book or the brochure. That’s why when leaders fall, it blows the cover on this charade. Suddenly this elusive spiritual life we are trying to lead is further away than we thought. ‘Almost’ is not even close. If the pastor can fall, what does that say about our chances?

If we were more honest with ourselves, we would know that the real question is not how someone so high could fall so far, but rather why hasn’t it happened sooner in such an atmosphere of denial? What were these people doing up there in the first place; and what were we doing putting them up there? The real problem in this case is not with sin, it is with our false idea of who we think we are. We need to understand that wnen someone falls, it’s not the end; it’s just the truth finally being known. It’s actually a good thing if it sends us all back to the gospel, where we should have been all along.

I often wonder how a gospel based solely on the merits of one who has died to forgive sin could be perpetuated on the merits of those who don’t seem to need it. If the whole point of the gospel is forgiveness of sin, then why do we insist on continually parading these almost perfect lives in front of each other? How has it happened that the people who proclaim forgiveness of sin don’t seem to have any sins to be forgiven of themselves? How has a church that once was the happy possession of common fishermen and prostitutes and tax collectors become the home of the spiritually elite? There are, undoubtedly, numerous and complicated answers to these questions, but I believe at the root of them all is lurking the issue of the Pharisee.

The call of the ancient Pharisee

Sin has a way of showing up only on the front end of salvation. Sinners are those who need saved, but once they are saved we rarely hear about sin anymore. Yes, sin still turns up in the context of those sinners ‘out there’ who need Jesus, but don’t we ‘in here’ need Jesus just as much after we’re saved?

It’s as if we believe another standard takes over once we become Christians. The unbeliever receives forgiveness of sins; the believer, however, must simply stop sinning. The blood of Jesus Christ covered my sins when I became a Christian, but now that I am saved I’d better straighten up and fly right. Salvation is for those who need to be saved, not those who already have been. And whenever not sinning takes precedence over the forgiveness of sins…beware the Pharisee.

‘Who among you is without sin?’ is the damning question Jesus posed to the Pharisees. We should ask ourselves the same question. John put it another way: ‘If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves’ (1 John 1:8). And yet we continue to want to be deceived—to perpetuate a myth about ourselves and our leaders that keeps our sin hidden from view because the alternative—to come clean—is just too scary. Although not sinning is not possible, we choose to perpetuate the false belief that it is, rather than face the truth. We created these perfect spiritual leaders in the first place to prove that it can be done; but they are living way beyond their spiritual means. If my assessment is true, it may actually be the grace of God that brings them down so we can all start facing the truth.

I grew up on hymn lyrics like, ‘What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus.’ I noticed the hymnist put this in the present tense, meaning that sin is a daily reality in the believer’s life. But I have a hunch most people don’t sing it that way. We sing it as if it were, ‘What has washed away my sin?’ As if sin were now behind us—a remnant of our non-Christian past.

One can see how subtly we become prime candidates for the fraternity of Pharisees. When being perfect is more important than being saved—when not sinning takes precedence over honestly dealing with sin—all the same dynamics that tantalized Saul of Tarsus are waiting to empower us falsely. The supposed perfection, the arrangement of the standard so as to make the breaking of it almost impossible to do, the judgment of others, the hiding, and, of course, the hypocrisy, are simply too alluring to refuse.

Foolish Galatians

‘You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you?’ wrote Paul in his letter to the same. ‘Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?’ (Galatians 3:1, 3)

Apparently this is not a new problem. We start with the Spirit; we start with salvation; we start with the undeserved grace of God, but then human effort creeps back into our spiritual lives like weeds returning to a weeded garden. We start looking to ourselves again, thinking we have to come up with what we need to be good Christians, and the minute we start looking to ourselves, we start covering up and being defensive and comparing ourselves to others, just like Pharisees. It’s inevitable: Where there is spirituality mixed with human effort, there will be all the pitfalls of the Pharisees, writhing like a brood of vipers waiting to entangle those who fall in.

If it took the Spirit to saves, Paul points out, it’s going to take the Spirit to keep us saved. Start with the Spirit, stay with the Spirit; start with salvation, stay with salvation; start with grace, stay with grace. How can we add to what Christ has done? We are saved each day the same way we were saved the first time. We brought our sinful lives before God, turned from relying on ourselves to relying on him, and received his life in exchange for ours. It’s no different now. It’s a moment-by-moment transaction.

The Galatians were trying to perfect through human effort what the Spirit had begun without their help, while all along denying that very Spirit the right to their lives. Their problem was the same as the Pharisees: they wanted to be in control of the process. They wanted to take back what they gave up in the beginning. Apparently they were too uncomfortable not being in control. Who else would turn down the grace of God but someone who didn’t want to be vulnerable to it? It’s a tragedy that while there is grace to cover all our sin, there are still sinners who don’t know about it and Pharisees who don’t want to know.

Salvation: then, now, and later

Confession of sin in our churches most often comes from those who are just being saved. We hear their stories as the equivalent of the ‘before’ pictures in liposuction ads with all that detestable flab hanging out over the edges of ill-fitting bathing suits. The assumption is that the rest of us have had all the sin sucked out of our abs and buttocks and are currently enjoying our slim, trim ‘after’ bodies. If sin does happen to show up later in a believer’s life, it is the result of a temporary backsliding. It happens to the best of us now and then. This is ‘solved’ by a simple rededication of our lives to God—a sort of ‘salvation refresher’. Sin is rarely, if ever, addressed as a normal part of a believer’s everyday experience.

Is salvation a one-time experience or something that we need every day of our lives? Yes and yes. These are actually two aspects of a three-pronged process of salvation—past, present and future. The theological names for these three aspects of salvation are justification, sanctification, and glorification. Justification is what has happened to us in relation to our sin, once and for all, on the cross. Jesus Christ’s death in our place has justified us forever before God and made possible our fellowship with him.

But this does not mean that we are sinless. Paul calls it a ‘body of death’ that we still have to carry around in this life even though we have received the firstfruits of the Spirit in our hearts (Romans 8:23). We are currently caught between our ultimate glorification when we will receive our resurrection bodies like Christ, and the past-justification of ourselves through the finished work of Christ on the cross. Everything in between is our present-tense experience of the process of sanctification. That experience includes both sin and forgiveness of sin as a daily occurrence. Though our salvation is secured in heaven, we experience it currently as we struggle with our sin nature and feel God’s knife cutting more deeply into the subtleties of our flesh.

The experience of sin in a believer’s life is not always backsliding. Nor is it always willful disobedience. Often it is what is simply revealed or brought into view because of the Holy Spirit’s work at peeling away our sin nature like the layers of an onion. The longer we follow Christ the more we discover how deep the sin goes and how deep and wide are his mercy and love. Realization of sin, confession, and forgiveness continue as we find out more about ourselves. This is why this process is both painful and rewarding. Painful because we keep discovering how far we still have to go, but rewarding because we keep discovering, as well, how far Christ has gone for us. This is also why the older believer always has an affinity for the new believer. It’s the same process. The new believer may be experiencing God’s forgiveness for the first time, but the experience is immediate, real, and necessary for both of them.

This is also why the new believer and the old believer can both sing the same song, tell the same gospel story, and talk of the same forgiveness fresh from each one’s current experience of it. Take the following hymn:

At the cross, at the cross, where I first saw the light,

And the burden of my heart rolled away;

It was there by faith I received my sight,

And now I am happy all the day.

Does a twenty-year believer sing this song thinking back on twenty years ago when she received her forgiveness? Is the twenty-year believer remembering and vicariously experiencing her former forgiveness through the tears of the new convert? Or does the twenty-year believer have her own tears welling up in her eyes as she sings this hymn for the umpteenth time, realizing it’s implications even more deeply than the last time she sang it because of the sin for which she has just received fresh forgiveness? This is how our salvation continues to be alive in our lives.

‘Tell Me the Old, Old Story’ is another old hymn I remember singing often as a child. Well, the old, old story has a way of always being a new, new song when we understand and experience the painful and glorious process of our sanctification.

More sin; more God

‘The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more’ (Romans 5:20).

At the beginning of this chapter I talked about this erroneous equation: More sin, less of God; more of God, less sin. I would like to suggest at this point a totally different equation. I would like to suggest that more of God in my life actually means more sin, if by more sin it is clear I mean the awareness of sin. The person who is closer to God is more aware of sin than the one who is distant, and thus that person will be having a more relevant experience with God as he or she grows in the faith.

This is why older Christians keep getting more humble as they grow older. They keep finding out how much of a sinner they are and how patient God is with them.

Paul puts it this way. ‘Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life’ (1 Timothy 1:15-16).

Here Paul makes a truly daring claim. One would think great leaders like Paul would be able to claim themselves as examples of righteousness and holiness, but Paul does not. He claims quite the opposite; he brags about being the worst sinner among sinners. He chose to exemplify himself in this manner so that others might have hope. If Christ would have patience with Paul—the worst of sinners—then no sinner could claim to be outside the reach of God’s grace.

These are truly unusual bragging rights. In essence Paul is saying he has more sin than anyone so no one can have any legitimate reason not to believe the forgiveness of God. If there’s hope for him, the worst of sinners, there’s hope for anyone. ‘For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect’ (1 Corinthians 15:9-10).

To extrapolate somewhat on Paul’s statement, I offer the following paragraph:

You think your sin is so great that God could never forgive you? Well, think again. I murdered Christians for their faith. I carried out the judgment of God upon the very people he was calling out to do his work. The cloaks of the murderers ended up at my feet. Awful things were done, at my command, to more people that I can count who were and are now my brethren, and the responsibility for all these things rests on me.

More of God, more awareness of sin. The more I see of God, the more I am aware of that in me that is not of God. That’s why Paul’s statement is in the present tense: ‘Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.’ Paul experiences a continual awareness of his sin nature. I would want to say I was the worst of sinners…but not Paul. The reality of his sin was as current and fresh as the reality of God’s grace. Paul knew that he couldn’t really know God’s grace without knowing his sin and how little he deserved what he was receiving. Deserve it, and it is no longer grace.

If we are going to recover from this pharisaical phoniness, we are going to have to get a present-tense awareness of our sin. We need to be experts at finding and rooting out our own sin—no one else’s. We have plenty to deal with right here in our own heart without having to take on anyone else’s sin as our personal campaign. I am the worst sinner I know, simply because I know myself better than anyone. My sin is the worst because it is mine. I am intimately involved with it. I know all its subtle nuances, its illusions, its rationalizations, and its cover-ups. Of my sin I am an expert. Anyone else’s sin is not my business to evaluate.

And follow this: Jeremiah informs us that our ‘expert’ knowledge of sin is still limited at best. Deeper than what we know about our sin lies that which we don’t know. ‘The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure,’ cried Jeremiah. ‘Who can understand it?’ (17:9). This is a reminder that, however much we know about our sin, we still do not know it all.

Paul picks up this theme in 1 Corinthians 4:4: ‘My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me.’ Paul never claims sinlessness, but he does claim a clear conscience. The sin Paul knows about, he has brought to the Lord already and received forgiveness; what he doesn’t know about is known by God and will be revealed in due time.

A clear conscience, therefore, does not mean we are sinless. It means we are covered by the blood of Jesus for what we know and what we don’t know. That should keep us humble until the time when the Lord returns. ‘He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God’ (1 Corinthians 4:5).

The recovering Pharisee’s creed

When I speak of sin, I will no longer talk of it as something in my distant past. When I speak of forgiveness, I will not speak of it as something I received years ago when I became a Christian. I will speak of the sin and forgiveness I experienced today—that I am experiencing right now—that enable me to be human and real and truthful with who I am and who I am becoming. And when the conversation turns to talk of sinners, I will realize the conversation is really about me. I will always know that I am the worst of sinners. I put Jesus on the cross; my sin nailed him there. And if I ever catch myself thinking that there exists, somewhere in the world, a worse sinner than I, regardless of the gravity of the crime, it is at that point that I have stepped over the pharisaical line and am speaking about something of which I know nothing. When it comes to sin, I can only speak of myself with absolute certainty, and in regard to myself and sin, I am certain of this: that I am an expert in both my sin and my forgiveness. One brings me sorrow; the other brings me great joy. The remarkable thing is not that I sin, but that, in spite of my sin, I am capable of having fellowship with God and being used by him for his purposes in the world.

‘So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!’ (1 Corinthians 10:12)
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Dietrich and Jace's Perspective?

2009-10-24T18:33:00.001-04:00

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Say, I've got a little brother,
Never teased to have him, nuther,
But he's here;
They just went ahead and bought him,
And, last week the doctor brought him,
Wan't that queer?

When I heard the news from Molly,
Why, I thought at first 'twas jolly,
'Cause, you see,
I s'posed I could go and get him
And then Mama, course, would let him
Play with me.

But when I had once looked at him,
"Why!" I says, "My sakes, is that him?
Just that mite!"
They said, "Yes," and, "Ain't he cunnin'?"
And I thought they must be funnin',--
He's a sight!

"Why'd they buy a baby brother,
When they know I'd good deal ruther
Have a dog?"

He's so small, it's just amazin',
And you'd think that he was blazin',
He's so red;
And his nose is like a berry,
And he's bald as Uncle Jerry
On his head.

Why, he isn't worth a dollar!
All he does is cry and holler
More and more;
Won't sit up--you can't arrange him,--
I don't see why Pa don't change him
At the store.

Now we've got to dress and feed him,
And we really didn't need him
More 'n a frog;
Why'd they buy a baby brother,
When they know I'd good deal ruther
Have a dog?
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Pride and Prejudice

2009-10-10T17:02:00.006-04:00

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There seems to be two attitudes hidden the heart of every man. Pride and prejudice. No attitude seems to be worse to accept in others than pride. Pride, and specifically spiritual pride, is a stench in the nostrils of every individual when present. Second to that, and often a counterpart to spiritual pride, is prejudice. Jesus must have known this when using the parable found in Luke 10:25-37. This parable, often refered to as The Parable of the Good Samaritan, seems to address both of these issues head on.

Let’s look first at the cast of characters in this incident. We find Jesus having a conversation with an unnamed lawyer. In this conversation Jesus introduces four fictitious characters to weave a story in which to make a point. These four characters are as opposite of one another as any four individuals you could choose. First Jesus introduces a ‘certain man’. Joe Average Citizen. This man was given no description, no features, no defining details and no name. Secondly He introduces a priest. Priests were the ones responsible for the sacrifices in the temple. No doubt everyone revered these men as ‘men of God’. Thirdly Jesus introduces a Levite. The Levites and the priests worked closely with one another in temple work. While the priests were responsible for the sacrificial duties, the Levites were the oil that made the whole machine of Jewish worship run. The Levites were responsible to see that all the little details were attended to, including, but not limited to, making sure the right vessels were at the right places with the right contents at the right time, and on, and on, and on.

Next, however, Jesus introduces someone quite different than a nameless, faceless (presumably Jewish) citizen, or a priest, or a Levite. A Samaritan. You can almost hear the hiss in the term. Derogatory and demeaning hardly describe the tone and manner in which the Samaritans were referred to. You can imagine the young boys calling each other ‘Samaritans’ as they had their petty disagreements. Tossing the term around with the assumption that Samaritans weren’t worth anything. No, it wasn’t assumption, they knew the Samaritans weren’t worth anything. Half-breeds at best, the Samaritans were ½ Jew, ½ Gentile, ½ idolatrous, ½ orthodox. No one knew for sure what they were, and quite frankly, no one cared.

Why would Jesus use such a motley cast of characters? What lesson needed such contrast to be articulated?

Let’s remember back the first person we were introduced to, the lawyer. Verse 25 tells us that the lawyer asked Jesus what needed to be done to inherit eternal life, simply to test him. Jesus knew this; he had dealt with these tactics before. Being a lawyer, obviously this man knew the written Mosaic Law; therefore Jesus simply asked the question back at him, ‘What does the Law say?’ Like a simple game of pass with a lob one direction and a return pitch, nothing seems amiss. Possibly realizing that his ‘trap’ didn’t spring as desired he was left with no choice but answer. ‘Love God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind and love your neighbor as yourself.’

Possibly this lawyer was in the crowd when Jesus was asked ‘what is the greatest command’ (Mark 12:28-31) and he answered in the same manner. ‘Right’, Jesus answers, ‘do this and you will live.’ But wishing to justify himself…… the lawyer was still intent on trapping Jesus. ‘Who is my neighbor?’ he asked. Jesus experienced the same thing again in Luke 16:14-15, Now the Pharisees…were listening to all these things and we scoffing at Him. And He said to them, ‘You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts…’ Some people simply don’t know when it’s time to quit pushing the issue. How often are each of us exactly like this? Each time we are Jesus responds in the same way as he responded this time………directly.

Jesus replied and said, ‘A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among robbers, and they stripped him and beat him, and went away leaving him half dead. And by chance a priest was going down on that road, and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. Likewise a Levite also, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, who was on a journey, came upon him; and when he saw him, he felt compassion, and came to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring oil and wine on them; and he put him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn and took care of him. On the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper and said, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I return I will repay you.’

With no less than 12,000 priests and Levites living in Jericho, and with the temple being in Jerusalem, it’s not a hard to imagine a priest or a Levite being on this particular road. Remember who Jesus is talking to? A Jewish lawyer. To this man the most shocking event in Jesus’ little story was the fact that a Samaritan ‘felt compassion’, while we are appalled that the priest and Levite lacked compassion. No doubt this man knew Numbers 19:11 said the one who touches the corpse of any person shall be unclean for seven days. He also knew Deuteronomy 21:1-9 said If a slain person is found lying in the open country…and it is not known who has struck him, then your elders and your judges shall go out and measure the distance to the cities which are around the slain one. It shall be that the city which is nearest to the slain man…shall take a heifer of the herd…and the elders of that city shall bring the heifer down to a valley with running water…and shall break the heifers neck there in the valley. Then the priests…shall come near…and all the elders of that city…shall wash their hands over the heifer whose neck was broken in the valley; and they shall answer and say, ‘Our hands did not shed this blood, nor did our eyes see it. Forgive your people…and do not place the guilt of innocent blood in the midst of your people Israel.’ And the blood guiltiness shall be forgiven them. So you shall remove the guilt of innocent blood from your midst, when you do what is right in the eyes of the Lord.

Quite possibly this lawyer would have been thinking that there was nothing strange at all with the behavior of the priest and Levite. Being ‘men of God’ it would have been unwise for them to have intentionally made themselves unclean for this stranger. Not just unwise, it would have been simply irresponsible. Likewise, he may have thought it equally irresponsible that the Samaritan showed mercy to the presumably dead man, and further evidence of Samaritans ignorance to the things of God. How could the elders measure to the city so that the blood guiltiness of innocent blood could be properly removed if this Samaritan moved the corpse? Obviously this Samaritan lacked proper religious etiquette and manners. Many, many times in our lives as well, official religiousness kills common humanity. Spiritual pride, coupled with our preferred prejudice, kills God’s work of mercy and compassion for our fellow man.

Another scripture which shows this is 2 Timothy 3:1-5 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be loves of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power… We have heard this scripture often to explain and define the current times. Somehow, though, I’ve always missed the point that this isn’t talking about the heathen, unbelieving people around us, but rather it’s obviously talking about professed Christians. In the last days men will have all these wicked attitudes while professing the name of Jesus. They will be so wrapped up in their official religiousness that they miss the call of God to a life of transformation and power.

While there could have been any number of excuses for the priests and Levites neglect of the beaten, unfortunate man, Jesus didn’t consider any of them worth mentioning. What he did consider worth mentioning was the fact that a Samaritan, of all people, who was simply travelling through, was willing to come to this mans assistance. The lawyer probably turned his head away in disgust when Jesus mentioned the idea of a Samaritan. Being ½ Jewish, ½ Gentile, ½ involved in pagan idolatry and ½ orthodox the Samaritans were indeed a despised race. The idea of Samaritans having any qualities worth imitating was unthinkable; preposterous; insane! Anyone who would have even suggested such a ridiculous idea would have been considered almost equally despised.

Yet, somehow this didn’t bother Jesus. He continued on with his story, explaining how the Samaritan was willing to interrupt his scheduled travel for a day or so; willing to further risk his reputation by being involved with this man; willing to reach into his own funds in order to support a stranger; willing to commit to further repayment over and above the initial investment. Jesus was actively arresting this lawyer’s pride and his prejudice and he’s willing to address our similar attitudes when they present themselves.

Proverbs 11:17 says that the merciful man does himself good, but the cruel man does himself harm. While it may stretch our minds a little to consider religion cruel, it is nothing less if that religion keeps us from common human kindness. When we become so entangled with our own religious ideas of what God wants that we can’t see past our official service to him to see the needs of humanity around us we are exhibiting both pride and prejudice.

Jesus said in Matthew 25:34-46 Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed of my Father…For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited me in; naked, and you clothed me; I was sick, and you visited me; I was in prison, and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see you…? The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of mine, even the least of them, you did it to me.’ Then he will also say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, accursed ones, into eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry…I was thirsty…I was a stranger…naked…and in prison and you did [nothing for me]. Then they themselves also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you…? Then he will answer them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’

Blessed are the merciful, Jesus says, for they shall receive mercy.

Jesus, willing to further challenge the lawyers prideful position of prejudice then asks, ‘Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the robbers’ hands?’, trying to force the him into admitting and affirming the Samaritans mercy. However, the lawyers pride wasn’t going to fall that easy. His prejudice was too deep to be given up the quickly. His religious position required them both. ‘The one who showed mercy toward him’, he answered, unable to even breath the word ‘Samaritan’. Jesus, willing to give one last challenge, but characteristically unwilling to force him into any acknowledgement simply said, ‘Go and do the same.’

The conversations over. We know nothing more of the lawyer. Did he give up his pride? Did he overcome his prejudice? Did he go and extend mercy to his fellow humans? We’ll never know, but we do know this, the message is the same to us as it was to him.

Will we give up our spiritual pride? Will we overcome our religious prejudices? Will we become more concerned with common human compassion and less concerned with official religiousness?
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A New Command

2009-10-04T22:06:00.001-04:00

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"One wonders why no one in church history has ever been considered a heretic for being unloving. People were anathematized and often tortured and killed for disagreeing on matters of doctrine or on the authority of the church. But no one on record has ever been so much as rebuked for not loving as Christ loved. Yet if love is to be placed above all other considerations (Col. 3:14; 1 Peter 4:8), if nothing has any value apart from love (1 Cor. 13:1-3), and if the only thing that matters is faith working in love (Gal. 5:6), how is it that possessing Christlike love has never been considered the central test of orthodoxy? How is it that those who tortured and burned heretics were not themselves considered heretics for doing so? Was this not heresy of the worst sort? How is it that those who perpetrated such things were not only not deemed heretics but often were (and yet are) held up as "heroes of the faith"?

The Myth of a Christian Nation, Gregory A. Boyd
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Life is a Church

2009-09-20T18:44:00.002-04:00

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Watching the surf cover up my toes
Breathing the salt air from the coast.
Ten years old with my eyes pressed closed.
Life is a church.

Remembering first love’s tender kiss.
Mourning the loss of my innocence,
The bittersweet taste of it on my lips.

Life is a church.
These are the sacraments.
This is the altar.
Love is the spirit
Making the blue planet turn.
Life is a church.

Chorus

Watching my baby being born
Written all over you, pain and joy
Holding your hand, it’s a little boy.

Chorus

Ashes to ashes, earth to earth.
The preacher throws in the first handful of dirt.
My little boy asks me, “does goodbye always hurt?”

Chorus

-David Phelps
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Life happens all around us every day. Do we make the mistake of thinking we're trapped in a logical life of cause and effect or do we recognize that EVERYTHING that happens is a reflection of things happening in the REAL world; the SPIRITUAL realm?
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Let The Worshippers Arise

2009-09-07T21:19:00.002-04:00

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Revelation 4:8-11, 5:9-14, 7:9-12 And the four living creatures, each of them with six wings, are full of eyes all around and within, and day and night they never cease to say, "Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!" And whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to him who is seated on the throne, who lives forever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who is seated on the throne and worship him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne, saying, "Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created."

And they sang a new song, saying, "Worthy are you to take the scroll and to open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation, and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth."

Then I looked, and I heard around the throne and the living creatures and the elders the voice of many angels, numbering myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice, "Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!" And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, "To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!" And the four living creatures said, "Amen!" and the elders fell down and worshiped.

After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, "Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!" And all the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures, and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying, "Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever! Amen."

My intent is not to teach you how to worship, but rather to challenge each of us to worship. Upon self-examination I’ve come to realize that worship, true heart-expression worship is sadly lacking in my life. With that realization comes a myriad of other confessions which are intimately connected with that thought: I’ve lost my sense of awe of who God is; the respect for God’s word in my life has waned; my heart has become complacent in its awareness of His presence, etc. Are these things the cause of my lack of worship or the effect of it? Who can know, and who needs to differentiate to that extent? I know, without doubt, that a heart worshipping God and these life expressions are so diametrically connected that where one exists the other must also exist.

What is worship? How is it defined and/or explained? The Webster’s definition is ‘to give obeisance to’. The complicated thing about worship is this, everything that IS worship can also NOT be worship. Let me explain, as we saw in the above quoted passage the elders fell on their faces before the throne of God but falling on our face before God is not necessarily giving obeisance to Him. We also saw that the angels, the elders, the ‘living creatures’ and the multitude each took their turn singing (and sometimes simultaneously sang) the accolades of God, however vocal praise and the enumeration of His blessings is not necessarily worship. Have you ever sung a ‘worship song’ with your mind a million miles away giving solution to some great conflict? Have you ever bowed your head in prayer while your heart was screaming its dissatisfaction with the situation? Have you assumed a humble prayer posture while in your imagination you were doing house or yard work? Clearly true worship is beyond anything physical we can or will do. Worship is an attitude of the heart.

In a series of private conversations regarding worship this definition was expressed: to do something that unquestionably directs attention to God, who He is, and what He has done. Anything that magnifies God and minimizes me is worship. I’ll add this small edit – Anything that INTENTIONALLY magnifies God and minimizes me. Singing God’s accolades can accomplish that. Verbally expressing our appreciation of God’s character and faithfulness can accomplish that. Assuming a prostrate position in His presence can accomplish that. ‘Worship songs’; holy hands lifted in prayer in honor of Him; even simple obedience to the most menial of tasks can be worship if the heart attitude is that of minimizing the worshipper and magnifying the worshipped! Contrariwise, though, these things can all become rote exercise if the heart is disconnected from the action, or inward focused. Worship is the automatic response of a heart that has seen God’s glory!

Isaiah had an experience, in the year that King Uzziah died, that caused him to worship. He states that [he] saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple. And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him…and the house was filled with smoke. Isaiah 6:1, 4 Isaiah saw God’s glory. No man can remain indifferent after experiencing God’s glory. It’s almost arguable that man is obligated, required to worship when once God has revealed His glory to him; as if worship is almost an involuntary response to seeing God’s glory. God has said, 'To me every knee shall bow, every tongue shall swear allegiance.' Isaiah 45:23b Paul has reiterated the thought in Philippians 2:10-11 …at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

In response to this awareness the question isn’t ‘will you worship’ but rather ‘have you seen God’s glory’. Have you; have I, seen God ‘high and lifted up’? If I have then why is my ‘worship’ experience so mundane? If God’s glory has been revealed to me genuinely, should my heart response not be one of awe and reverence? Indeed it should and indeed it will!

Consider Gideon. Gideon is a coward. Gideon is a whiner. Notice what Gideon says to the angel of the Lord when the angel claims God’s presence with Israel, ‘And Gideon said to him, "O my lord, if the LORD is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all his wonderful deeds that our fathers recounted to us, saying, 'Did not the LORD bring us up from Egypt?' But now the LORD has forsaken us and given us into the hand of Midian.’ Judges 6:13 Yet all it took was one small display of the power of God and Gideon transformed from a whiner to a worshipper. Then the angel of the LORD reached out the tip of the staff that was in his hand and touched the meat and the unleavened cakes. And fire sprang up from the rock and consumed the flesh and the unleavened cakes. And the angel of the LORD vanished from his sight. Then Gideon perceived that he was the angel of the LORD. And Gideon said, "Alas, O Lord GOD! For now I have seen the angel of the LORD face to face." But the LORD said to him, "Peace be to you. Do not fear; you shall not die." Then Gideon built an altar there to the LORD and called it, Jehovah (Yahweh) Shalom. To this day it still stands at Ophrah, which belongs to the Abiezrites. Judges 6:21-24 One small display of the power available from God and Gideon is ready to worship. One glimpse of the glory of God and Isaiah is in confession mode.

One passing glance at the back side of God and Moses is so aglow that he has to veil his face so that people can look at him. Do you suppose Moses worshipped on that mountain? Exodus 34:8-9 says that when the goodness of God was seen by Moses that Moses made haste to bow low toward the earth and worship. He said, ‘If now I have found favor in Your sight, O Lord, I pray, let the Lord go along in our midst, even though the people are so obstinate, and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us as Your possession. Moses worshipped. Moses saw how worthy God was of honor and how unworthy he and his people were of favor and Moses confessed it and worshipped. True worship of the true God creates a noticeable external difference; our countenance WILL change if we have worshipped. Moses’ did. So when Aaron and all the sons of Israel saw Moses, behold, the skin of his face shone, and they were afraid to come near him……When Moses had finished speaking with them, he put a veil over his face. But whenever Moses went in before the Lord to speak with Him, he would take off the veil until he came out; and whenever he came out and spoke to the sons of Israel what he had been commanded, the sons of Israel would see the face of Moses, that the skin of Moses’ face shone. So Moses would replace the veil over his face until he went in to speak with Him. Exodus 34:30, 33-35

What about David? David was a mumbling, fumbling idiot at times. Yet Samuel insinuates that God said David was a man after His own heart in 1 Samuel 13:14. How can this be? David was a wretch. I think that God could have that attitude toward David because David was a regular worshipper of God. Sure, David had a few hard knocks. David had some bumps and bruises. David even had some outright, undeniable sin. But in spite of ALL that, David worshipped. We could go on and on through the book of the Psalms elaborating on David’s worship of God. David was truly seeking God’s heart and as a result of that God saw that David’s heart was becoming more like His. What about you? Will you worship?
What keeps us from worshipping? With all this positive evidence in favor of worshipping, what could possibly keep us from it? One thing that could keep us from worshipping God is a lack of compassion from other believers. Notice in Matthew 15:22-23 that a Canaanite woman…came out and was crying, "Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely oppressed by a demon." But he did not answer her a word. And his disciples came and begged him, saying, "Send her away, for she is crying out after us." What would you have done? I would have gone away and counted my losses, not this woman. While lack of compassion from other believers can tend to drive us FROM worship, it should have just the opposite affect. This woman knew that God loves to bless a worshipper so she did just that… she came and worshipped Him, saying, "Lord, help me." Then Jesus answered her, "O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire." And her daughter was healed instantly. Matthew 15:25, 28

Another hindrance to our worship could be scoffers. Remember the man in John 9 that was born blind? Let’s take a peek at him and see if he thought that scoffers could keep him from worshipping. John 9:24-25 So for the second time they called the man who had been blind and said to him, "Give glory to God. We know that this man is a sinner."
He answered, "Whether he is a sinner I do not know. One thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see.” Remember what worship is, INTENTIONALLY magnifying God and minimizing me! This man’s attitude was simple; you can’t make me quit magnifying the man who gave me sight! Our attitude should parallel that, but how often when someone scoffs about our Savior do we sulk? Why do we allow another’s opinion of Him direct our actions? Could it be because we haven’t really seen His glory?

How often do we allow a ‘divine delay’ to interfere with our worship? Remember Martha and Mary and their brother Lazarus? Remember how Jesus knew for three days that Lazarus was dying and yet he made absolutely no attempt to get there. Consequently Lazarus died and THEN (a little late now) Jesus heads off to see what’s going on. Mary was not going to allow a little delay interrupt her worship. Remember that as soon as she heard Jesus was there she ran out and fell at his feet and worshipped. (John 11:32) Why do we not do likewise? Why do we allow a little wait to interfere with our heart desire to magnify our Father?

Sin. Unconfessed sin will kill worship faster than anything. The problem is if there is unconfessed sin in our life we will continue in the motions of worship. In Isaiah 1:10-15 God enumerates all the things that he’s tired of them doing…sacrifices, offerings, new moon festivals, appointed feasts, Sabbaths, assemblies, incense. These things are all specific ingredients of worship which God had told them to do. However, these people were trying to pretend to worship God while living lives that didn’t coincide. They weren’t ‘after God’s heart’. Consequently, God says, ‘When you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide my eyes from you; even though you multiply prayers, I will not listen’ Isaiah 1:15

What will keep you from worshipping? Will you allow one of these hindrances to interfere with your heart’s desire to honor and worship your Father, or will you use them as springboards to ‘magnify God and minimize you’? Will you beg God to reveal His glory and power in your life so that your heart will respond? Will you stand as one who is willing to worship God or will you remain seated with the millions of others? Remember, someday every knee will bow and every tongue will swear allegiance to God, why wait?

Sooner or later you will call Him Lord
Why not do it now?
Sooner or later you’ll stand in His presence
And on your knees you will bow.
Sooner or later your eyes will be opened
And then for yourself you will see.
Sooner or later the choice is yours
My friend, which will it be?

Let the worshippers arise!
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My Jesus

2009-09-03T21:52:00.001-04:00

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Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Then why do you look so much like the world?

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be?

Blessed are the poor in spirit
Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand

Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich
So which one do you want to be?

Who is this that you follow
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side or fall down and worship at His holy feet

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?

Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet would stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despised the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!

Not a posterchild for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus but I'm not sure what that means to be like You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me
Can I be like You Jesus?
I want to be like my Jesus

-Todd Agnew
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Psalm 118:5-9

2009-08-28T21:39:00.000-04:00

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I called upon the Lord when I was in a tight spot; He answered me and set me in an open place. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear; what can man do to me? The Lord is on my side; He is among those who help me; therefore I will not be ashamed when... I look at those who are against me. It is better to rely on the Lord for protection and guidance than to trust in man.
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By faith...

2009-08-13T07:41:00.003-04:00

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…Noah (guilty of drunkenness, Genesis 9:20-23) became an heir of the righteousness which is according to faith.

…Abraham (twice guilty of lying to authorities about his wife, Genesis 12:10-20, 20:1-11) was looking for a city whose architect and builder is God.

…Sarah (guilty of weak faith in God’s promise, Genesis 18:9-15) received the ability to conceive.

…Isaac (also guilty of lying to authorities about his wife, Genesis 26:6-11) blessed his sons regarding things to come.

…Jacob (guilty of trickery, cheating and theft, Genesis 27:18-27) as he was dying, worshipped.

…Joseph (guilty of extreme arrogance, Genesis 37:5-11) when he was dying, made mention of God’s future faithfulness.

…Moses (guilty of murder, Exodus 2:11-14) considered the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he was looking for the reward.

…Armies of Israel (guilty of unbelief, Hebrews 3:12-19) circled Jerico for 7 days and the walls fell down.

…Rahab (guilty of prostitution, Joshua 2:1-21) was saved from the destruction of the disobedient.

…Gideon (guilty of unbelief/doubt Judges 6:11-18, 36-40)…Barak (guilty of irresponsibility in leadership, Judges 4:4-8)…Samson (guilty of lust, Judges 14:1-2, 16:1, 16:4)…Jephthah (guilty of impulsive decision making, Judges 11:29-35)…David (guilty of adultery, murder and abuse of power, 2 Samuel 11:1-25)…Samuel (guilty of poor family leadership, 1 Samuel 8:1-3)…conquered kingdoms, performed acts of righteousness, obtained promises, shut the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, from weakness were made strong, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight…received their dead back by resurrection; were tortured, experienced mocking and scourging also chains and imprisonment…were stoned, sawn in two, tempted, put to death…were destitute, afflicted, ill-treated…wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground.

All these…GAINED APPROVAL THROUGH THEIR FAITH!!

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As I continually recognize the depth of depravity and violation of God's standard (from obvious to subtle ways in my heart) I am comforted that my approval is based on my faith and not my ability to perform.
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Teach Me To Love, Lord

2009-08-01T10:11:00.003-04:00

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Father, please continue to show/teach me this truth...

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. Even if I speak God's Word with power, revealing ALL His mysteries and making everything plain as day but don't love, I'm nothing! I'm bankrupt without love.
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Stained Glass Masquerade

2009-07-30T20:31:00.002-04:00

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Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay?

-Casting Crowns
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Gritty. Demanding. Difficult. Inconvenient.

2009-07-24T06:45:00.002-04:00

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The following post is borrowed from Laban Cook's blog.

Love. It isn’t about rainbows and bunnies. It’s gritty, demanding, difficult, and inconvenient. Jesus said, “…and the second is as great as the first, that you love your neighbor as yourself.” In one simple declaration he made loving your fellow man equal to loving your creator.

It’s simple. But you’ve failed.

You have clipped, trimmed, neutered, and sterilized love into a little valentine. Something given to somebody you like. A hug to your best friend. A smile to someone who’s nice. But it’s more than that. Much, much more. And we’re not talking about the difference between a felon and that bitchy person at church you don’t like. This is more complex. More demanding. It’s a commandment to love every single person that exists.

And though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, I am nothing.

Most likely you’ve spent a great portion of your adult life separating yourself from others. Purifying your life from theirs. Elevating and sanctifying. “I will NOT break bread with you, sir.” You love them so much that you put up huge walls. A nice societal hedgerow that shields you from their crappy existence.

And this is how they will know you, that you love one another.

So as you sail though your clean little evangelical, Anabaptist, or second-Presbyterian-twice-removed world, remember that he did as you ought. Whether the hooker, the cheater, or the traitor, he loved everyone around him. He made everyone better. And he proved it.

Greater love hath no man, than he lay down his life for a friend.

Ironic. This outburst isn’t about love. Nor is it about Jesus. It’s about Christ-ians. It’s about those who subvert the single greatest commandment in a misguided attempt at meeting one thousand nine hundred and forty-seven lesser ones. A grand and grail-like quest of perfection that fails miserably at the throne.

I was hungry and you fed me. I was naked and you clothed me. I was in prison and you visited me.

And finally, it’s about hypocrisy. Yours. And mine.
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Accurate Representation

2009-07-15T18:36:00.004-04:00

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On my first sales call of the day I was informed, in no uncertain terms, that this particular business would NOT do business with my newspaper. When I politely asked why he replied, 'They wouldn't listen to me at a Rescue Squad meeting in the late 70's and I told them I'd never do business with them again.' 'Sir,' I assured him, 'We have an entirely different staff, management and ownership than we did in the 70's.' At this juncture he pointed to the door and demanded I leave. As I approached the door he stated (forcefully), 'My word sticks for the rest of my life'. Those things just happen when you're in sales.

As I pondered this event I wondered how often we betray Christ's message and have a '30 yr (negative) impact' on the gospel in people's life. Later, possibly even years later, someone else attempts to share the good news of Jesus' forgiveness and acceptance with the individual and receives a response similar to the response I received today. Do you accurately represent Christ? Do I? In my words? actions? re-actions? thoughts?
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Sufficiency of Scripture

2009-07-01T06:46:00.003-04:00

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I sat down this morning to hammer out some thoughts on the sufficiency of Scripture because I have recently come to the realization that many of my Christian friends in the OGBBC have never even considered whether or not Scripture is sufficient for life and godliness. I think this is significant, in that, if the thought is never considered then neither is the error of extra-Biblical decisions and traditions ever considered. However, as I began my thoughts I did a quick search and found the following article on the sufficiency of Scripture from John MacArthur. Since he's a much more brilliant man than I am, I'll let John speak. All emphasis is mine, but the article is his.

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Psalm 19:7–9 is the most monumental and concise statement on the sufficiency of Scripture ever made. Penned by David under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, these three verses offer unwavering testimony from God Himself about the sufficiency of His Word for every situation and thereby counter the teaching of those who believe that God’s Word must be augmented with truth gleaned from modern psychology. In this passage David makes six statements, each highlighting a characteristic of Scripture and describing its effect in the life of the one who embraces it. Taken together, these statements paint a beautiful picture of the sufficiency of God’s Word.

Scripture Is Perfect, Restoring the Soul
In the first statement (v. 7), David says, “The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul.” This word “perfect” is the translation of a common Hebrew word meaning “whole,” “complete,” or “sufficient.” It conveys the idea of something that is comprehensive, so as to cover all aspects of an issue. Scripture is comprehensive, embodying all that is necessary to one’s spiritual life. David’s implied contrast here is with the imperfect, insufficient, flawed reasoning of men. God’s perfect law, David says, affects people by “restoring the soul” (v. 7). To paraphrase David’s words, Scripture is so powerful and comprehensive that it can convert or transform the entire person, changing someone into precisely the person God wants him to be. God’s Word is sufficient to restore through salvation even the most broken life—a fact to which David himself gave abundant testimony.

Scripture Is Trustworthy, Imparting Wisdom
David further expands the sweep of scriptural sufficiency in Psalm 19:7, writing, “The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple.” David’s use of the word “sure” means that the Lord’s testimony is unwavering, immovable, unmistakable, reliable, and worthy to be trusted. It provides a foundation on which to build one’s life and eternal destiny. God’s sure Word makes the simple wise (v. 7). The Hebrew word translated “simple” comes from an expression meaning “an open door.” It evokes the image of a naive person who doesn’t know to shut his mind to false or impure teaching.
He is undiscerning, ignorant, and gullible, but God’s Word makes him wise. Such a man is skilled in the art of godly living: He submits to Scripture and knows how to apply it to his circumstances. The Word of God thus takes a simple mind with no discernment and makes it skilled in the issues of life.

Scripture Is Right, Causing Joy
In verse 8, David adds a third statement about Scripture’s sufficiency: “The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart.” Rather than simply indicating what is right as opposed to wrong, the word translated “right” has the sense of showing someone the true path. The truths of Scripture lay out the proper path through the difficult maze of life. That brings a wonderful confidence. So many people are distressed or despondent because they lack direction and purpose, and most of them seek answers from the wrong sources. God’s Word not only provides the light to our path (Ps.119:105), but also sets the route before us. Because it steers us through the right course of life, God’s Word brings great joy. If one is depressed, anxious, fearful, or doubting, the solution is found not in self-indulgent pursuits like self-esteem and self-fulfillment. The solution is found in learning to obey God’s counsel and sharing in the resulting delight. Divine truth is the fount of true and lasting joy. ALL other sources are shallow and fleeting.

Scripture Is Pure, Enlightening the Eyes
Psalm 19:8 gives a fourth characteristic of Scripture’s utter sufficiency: “The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes.” This word “pure” could better be translated “clear” or “lucid,” and it indicates that Scripture is not mystifying, confusing, or puzzling. God’s Word reveals truth to make the dark things light, bringing eternity into bright focus. Granted, there are things in Scripture that are hard to understand (2 Pet. 3:16), but taken as a whole, the Bible is not a bewildering book. It is clear and lucid. Because of its absolute clarity, Scripture brings understanding where there is ignorance, order where there is confusion, and light where there is spiritual and moral darkness. It stands in stark contrast to the muddled musings of unredeemed men, who themselves are blind and unable to discern truth or live righteously. God’s Word clearly reveals the blessed, hopeful truths they can never see.

Scripture Is Clean, Enduring Forever
In Psalm 19:9 David uses the term “fear” as a synonym for God’s Word: “The fear of the
Lord is clean, enduring forever.” This “fear” speaks of the reverential awe for God that compels believers to worship Him. Scripture, in this sense, is the divine manual on how to worship the Lord. The Hebrew word “clean” speaks of the absence of impurity, filthiness, defilement, or imperfection. Scripture is without sin, evil, corruption, or error. The truth it conveys is therefore absolutely undefiled and without blemish.

Because it is flawless, Scripture endures forever (Ps. 19:9). Any change or modification could only introduce imperfection. Scripture is eternally and unalterably perfect. It needs no updating, editing, or refining, for it is God’s revelation for every generation.

The Bible was written by the omniscient Spirit of God, who is infinitely more sophisticated than anyone who dares stand in judgment on Scripture’s relevancy for our society, and infinitely wiser than all the best philosophers, analysts, and psychologists who pass like a childhood parade into irrelevancy. Scripture has always been and will always be sufficient.

Scripture Is True, Altogether Righteous
Verse 9 provides the final characteristic and effect of God’s all-sufficient Word: “The judgments of the Lord are true; they are righteous altogether.” The word “judgments” in this context refers to ordinances or divine verdicts from the bench of the Supreme Judge of the earth. The Bible is God’s standard for judging the life and eternal destiny of every person. Because Scripture is true, it is “righteous altogether” (Ps. 19:9).

The implication of that phrase is that its truthfulness produces a comprehensive righteousness in those who accept it. Contrary to what many are teaching today, there is no need for additional revelations, visions, words of prophecy, or insights from modern psychology. In contrast to the theories of men, God’s Word is true and absolutely comprehensive. Rather than seeking something more than God’s glorious revelation, Christians need only to study and obey what they already have.

Scripture is sufficient.

Adapted from John MacArthur, Our Sufficiency in Christ
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The Difficult Nature of Grace

2009-06-25T06:22:00.002-04:00

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As Christians we like to flatter ourselves with our ability to theologically understand why God extends grace to us. We also like to give lip-service to the fact that we can easily extend common grace to one another regardless of the violation. Grace isn’t as easy to ‘do’ as it is to ‘say’, however. By its very nature grace is difficult.

For the purpose of this conversation, grace is being defined as a freely given, unmerited favor, blessing or forgiveness, especially in the face of betrayal, rejection or violation. Conversely, mercy is understood as the discretionary power of a person to pardon someone rather than invoke punishment or consequence. Simply put, grace is receiving what is not deserved, i.e. forgiveness, while mercy is not receiving what is deserved, i.e. punishment. These two concepts are simultaneously complimentary and mutually independent.

Often as Christians we confuse mercy and grace thinking grace has been received or extended when in reality mercy is what has been exercised. Perhaps I strain too hard over minute differences, but I think the differences are significant. While I claim that grace is, by nature, a difficult spiritual exercise it seems that mercy requires less resolve to extend.

Consider this. Imagine yourself having been betrayed by a very close friend. This friend is one with which you have shared deep and difficult things. Many times you have withheld no information regarding personal struggles, fears, challenges and even sin. (You know where I’m going.) Now suppose that friend totally and completely betrays your confidence sharing many, if not all, of your secrets with another mutual acquaintance who is less than responsible to protect your integrity. This second friend feels responsible to place your name on as many prayer chains as possible in an attempt to assist you. Suddenly you find that nearly everyone in your social circle knows your deepest, darkest struggle, pain, fear and besetting sin. You have been violated! Once the issues of personal pride and desire to vindicate your reputation are resolved you are faced with a dilemma. How do you respond to these two friends?

My experience has shown (as both the violated and the violator) that mercy (the act of choosing to withhold punishment or consequence) comes with only little difficulty. It is not impossible to ‘do what Jesus would’ and choose to not require restitution. In our desire to be ‘conformed to the image of Christ’ we view our decision as the ‘high road’, especially in contrast to the base nature of the violation. We can actually become quite smug in our ability to ‘rise above’ the situation, inaccurately convincing ourselves that we have been gracious when in fact we have only been merciful, and barely at that!

Genuine grace is the ability to acknowledge the betrayal, acknowledge the pain it caused, acknowledge the desire for self-vindication and restitution yet still forgive and furthermore choose to remain in relationship with the violator! Consider this from a divine paradigm. While we were yet sinners God acknowledged our sin. God acknowledged our attitudes and actions were turned completely against Him. God acknowledged the pain it caused Him to watch us spit in the face of His will for our lives and turn our back on Him. Never once did God minimize the severity of our actions; He gave them full acknowledgment. Yet never once did He demand restitution, rather He offered the very thing required to bring us back into relationship with Himself! We received the one thing we didn’t deserve, relationship with God. Beyond that, we received the only thing that could have initiated that relationship, full payment for our grievances against Him. Further we received the single thing which could have made full payment for our violation of God’s standard; we received, as a pure act of grace from God, a sacrifice for our sin…while we were still acting in complete defiance! Grace, by nature, is never easy or cheap!!

Now consider grace from the opposite perspective. Imagine yourself in the shoes of one of the violating friends in the above scenario. After realizing the depth of betrayal and pain caused to this other friend you become aware that you have been the source of such emotional trauma. However, instead of becoming angry, bitter or demanding this friend not only forgives but also chooses to continue to pursue relationship with you. As you continue to apologize and attempt to repay the damage done you find that your friend has no hard feelings or desire for penance.

Your violation is not ignored, rather it is forgiven! The curious thing about human carnality is the fact that we don’t want to be forgiven. We want to purchase our relationship. Whether that relationship is human or divine, we want to feel like we have paid full price to receive it. When we clearly recognize our error toward another (whether toward God or toward another person) we automatically gravitate toward buying the relationship back from brokenness. Since our Father has already given that which is necessary for our relationship with Him there’s nothing left to accomplish. Similarly, since we have freely received grace (forgiveness and relationship) from God we should freely give grace to one another. However, when we realize that another person is giving us free grace our tendency is to refuse. We will exhibit a variety of reactions, not the least of which is continuing to address the violation, as we spit in the face of the grace given in an attempt to purchase the grace already given!

In conclusion, when I say grace is difficult by nature I’m not only referring to the giving of grace to one another but also to the receiving of grace from others, and ultimately from God. Our human tendency is to desire to work for everything we receive and to a greater degree our tendency is to require work (i.e. penance) from those who have violated us.

Let’s move forward from this point giving grace as freely as we have received it and receiving grace as freely as it is given, not to the point of recklessly ignoring sin, but openly acknowledging error, in ourselves or others, and yet choosing, by God’s grace, to move through the violation into greater relationship with one another and ultimately with the Father, Himself!
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Consumed

2009-06-16T06:21:00.002-04:00

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Many, many generations ago it was a common torture to punish a political criminal by placing them in an arena with a hungry beast; often a lion. To add to the excitement there were often crowds gathered to cheer against and watch the consumption of the criminal by this lion. This practice was brutal, vicious and gory!

Over the last few weeks I have begun to feel like I am a spectator in the stands of a spiritual arena watching yet another helpless soul be consumed by a lion. I can scream against the beast; I can offer sage advice to the individual; I can cheer the seemingly small victories as this person finds a cleft in the wall to hide in, but ultimately I can do nothing more than watch! Helplessly watch! Cheering the victories doesn't seem to help, crying at the defeats seems equally meaningless, offering advice seems to only assist the beast in his efforts to entirely consume. I feel helpless!

Last night another strategic pounce was calculated and made by the enemy. This time, however, the individual being attacked seemed resigned to defeat. 'Its better this way,' they say. 'Everyone will be better off in the end.' 'No one really cares anyway.' 'There's nothing I can do to stop now.' Screaming from the stands (i.e. praying) seems to have no positive effect at all! Lord, why do these things happen?

Friends, MARRIAGE IS NOT DISPOSABLE!!!

Be sober, be alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
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Barabbas Ministries

2009-06-13T13:59:00.002-04:00

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The ministry I lead at New Castle Correctional Facility is currently in need of 3-5 additional volunteers. While I understand that everyone is not called to ministry, and many who are don't feel called specifically to prison ministry, I trust the Father to place a calling on hearts to fulfill the needs He presents. Our ministry currently holds 3-4 services per month as follows: 2nd Thursday of every month, 7:00-8:30 pm; 3rd Saturday of every month, 2:00-3:30 pm; 4th Sunday of every month, 2:00-3:30 pm; and 5th Sunday (once every 3-4 months), 2:00-3:30 pm.

The need our ministry currently has is not one of regular speaking, but rather one of interaction and encouragement. Please contact me (or reply to this message) if you feel led/called to participate!

Thank you and God bless you!
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Voice of Truth

2009-06-02T06:27:00.001-04:00

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Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says "do not be afraid"
And the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are

-Mark Hall, Casting Crowns
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Closer Walk

2009-05-20T20:17:00.001-04:00

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O for a closer walk with God,
A calm and heavenly frame,
A light to shine upon the road
That leads me to the Lamb!

Where is the blessedness I knew,
When first I saw the Lord?
Where is the soul refreshing view
Of Jesus and His Word?

What peaceful hours I once enjoyed!
How sweet their memory still!
But they have left an aching void
The world can never fill.

Return, O holy Dove, return,
Sweet messenger of rest!
I hate the sins that made Thee mourn
And drove Thee from my breast.

The dearest idol I have known,
Whate’er that idol be
Help me to tear it from Thy throne,
And worship only Thee.

So shall my walk be close with God,
Calm and serene my frame;
So purer light shall mark the road
That leads me to the Lamb.
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Community

2009-05-15T06:52:00.002-04:00

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Last night I happened to hear the last 10 minutes of a message from Chip Ingram on the radio. In this time he said, 'Christians live like Christians when Christians live in community'.

I know all the proof-texts about 'one another-ing' and I don't argue against them. However this statement seems a little defeatist to me. Maybe I'm just over-reacting, but shouldn't our vertical communion be so fulfilling that we 'live like Christians' regardless of the specifics of our horizontal community?

Admittedly, my personal testimony and experience is not one of arrival, but of continual longing for deeper fellowship with Christ! My fear is blanket acceptance of this doctrine leaves me a loop hole to fall through anytime I don't 'live like a Christian'.

Thots?
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Marketing Consultant

2009-05-08T19:15:00.001-04:00

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Unfortunately I didn't make the sales numbers they wanted to see from me this week. Fortunately God isn't bound to living within man's boxes and chose to give me the job anyway! He is good beyond my deserving!!

The ad director said she'd probably have me selling in a territory Monday. She seems to think I'll love territory sales even more than what I did this week.
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Occupational Prayer

2009-05-05T06:18:00.003-04:00

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Lord, you're in control!

I am not brilliant enough, clever enough or talented enough to accomplish the goals set for me this week on my own. You know me, you know what I am made of, you know I am nothing but dust! That's why I can rest in your sovereignty over my entire life. If the expectations set for this week are requirements, your assistance will be the only way I accomplish them. If they aren't expected as insinuated, you know that also. You are in control! You move on hearts; you move hearts. If, Lord, this particular occupation is the one you've chosen for me, I give you the expectations and say, 'guide me, lead me, prepare a way before me'. If you haven't chosen The Daily Advocate as where you want me to serve, and you choose to use this 'trial week' to show me that, I give it to you! You're in control! I cannot do this alone! The giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me, reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed! But, Lord, you say that you are my God and if I open my mouth wide you will fill it!

Lord, I'm seeking nothing more than to be in your will. I look at my situation and conclude this opportunity seems to be the only option; you, however, know much more than I. You know ALL things! You're in control! Please, please, please Lord, guard me against attempting to take control in any situation, and especially in this situation.

If this opportunity is the hand-picked opportunity you intend to give me, you're in control! I don't have the ability in myself, of myself, by myself to accomplish it; but the opportunity is exciting and I'm willing to give it everything you give me!

Here we go Lord. You're in control! I only want to bring you glory....wherever, whatever.....no matter what!!
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New Job

2009-05-02T08:51:00.002-04:00

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I report to work at The Daily Advocate at 8 am Monday morning.

In a lot of ways this feels like my first REAL job. I have always had a previous relationship with the manager/owner prior to interviewing, some to greater degrees some to lesser degrees. Monday morning, however, I'm a stranger walking into a brand new world. I'm EXTREMELY excited at the possibilities and potential!

While the first week is considered a 'trial' week, I anticipate a fulfilling career with Brown Publishing and The Daily Advocate. As with any new position, I'm sure there will be many things which play out differently than I currently presume, but I don't expect any of these surprises to be much more than logistical. During this first week both they and I will get the opportunity to 'become acquainted'; they with me and my personality, I with them and their career opportunity. If on, or before, Friday some alarm or discomfort is realized, then neither they nor I have any further committment.

The specifics of the position (as I understand them) are really exciting to me. The position I fill will be responsible to design and format the special sections (fair book, readers choice awards, mature times, homes mag, etc). This will be done in partnership with my direct superior. I will also be responsible for securing 100% of the revenue needed to support these projects. This revenue will be received exclusively through advertisements. Simply put, I will sell advertisement spots in these special sections. I will further be responsible to get the projects prepared for print on (or before) print deadline, and establish distribution points.

Alongside the print advertisements in the special sections/projects, I will be responsible to sell advertising spots on the various pages of the Advocate website.

There is one more thing that gives this job an exciting edge that few other possibilities offered. We currently school, church, shop, live in the greater Darke County area. Now I also work in that same community! While I never thought of this as significant in our age of communication and travel, I am finding myself very, very excited to see my entire 'life' becoming intimately connected to my home community.

I guess all these little details point to one thing, our Father is a)watching, b)caring and c)in control of EVERYTHING!

Lord, thank you for another expression of your faithfulness and provision.
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Praise HIM in the Storm

2009-05-01T06:43:00.003-04:00

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This morning I was spending some time with the Father asking Him about the what's and why's of my current situation. I was confessing how much easier it was to talk about faith and believing Him to provide in every situation than to actually believe Him when the bills pile up and no one calls offering a viable occupational option. I was admitting to Him that I felt like I was 'at my end' and wondering if He really cared when He reminded me of this song:

PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM
Casting Crowns
I was sure by now that You would have reached down
wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

So I will, I'll praise Him, right in the middle of THIS storm. I'll raise my hands and PRAISE the God who gives, and takes away; because my help comes from the LORD. Even though I barely hear Him whisper through the rain, 'I'm with you', I will not doubt! I CHOOSE to believe Him and worship Him for His majesty, in spite of my circumstances!!
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Should They Be......?

2009-04-28T09:40:00.003-04:00

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Jeffrey Dahmer killed people and then ate them.
Timothy McVey bombed a building housing a day care center.
OJ Simpson killed his ex-wife and her 'new' boyfriend and then lied about it and walked free.

Suppose any (or all) of these men were to be saved. How would you honestly feel about it?
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COR22 Events

2009-04-25T14:24:00.004-04:00

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We at COR22 Ministries have taken a bit of a hiatus; howbeit, not of our own decision. We have been want for event's. During this break we have began (again) recording our first album (we debuted 5 yrs ago and still no release, shameful!). However, with the 2009 spring/summer season on us and a couple events on the schedule we're beginning to get the fever again!

Consider this a bit of an advertisement!

Would your church, youth group, outreach, social club, etc like to have COR22 present an evening of song and testimony focused on our LORD JESUS CHRIST?

Since we have freely received we freely give our gifts and talents back to our Father in worship! We will also entertain out of state engagements! Please contact our booking office at 937.423.3258 to schedule an event!
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Explanation

2009-04-22T13:43:00.002-04:00

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Due to some recent communications (phone calls, emails, personal conversations) I feel somewhat compelled to explain my current situation.

As many of you know (all 3 of you who actually read this blog) I have been unemployed for the last 2 months. During this time I have been able to find temporary odd jobs to generate a small amount of income; however it has been substantially less than the necessary amount to fulfill our monthly obligations. Nevertheless, God is faithful!

Also during this time I have turned down 2 job offers. This concerns some people. Perhaps you have even been concerned about, or confused by, these decisions. While I understand I am under no obligation to defend my decisions, I'm compelled to explain them. About one month after MulchPlus of Ohio, Inc laid me off as office manager they called me wondering if I would be willing to come back to work for them in a new position. This position would be outside sales. Upon investigation, though, I found that they still had full intention of closing the company down through liquidation or by selling out no later than September 2009. It seemed extremely irresponsible for me to jump on a sinking ship in hopes of a successful rescue. Consequently I declined the offer. Some criticized this decision. Renita and I, however had mutual peace with the decision and we moved forward!

A short time later I received a call for an interview with Health Markets. The first interview was more of an information session, but when I left I had more questions than answers. Nevertheless I was excited by what I viewed as opportunities! Shortly thereafter I received a second, follow-up interview. During this interview I was sold on all the benefits and perks of becoming their 'agent' and asked when I would like to start. Any reference to the 'over 100 products and services' was vague and non-specific. I probed deeper into the details, finding the details hard to uncover. Then one day Renita specifically prayed (unbeknownst to me) that we would be clearly shown whether this was a right decision. In a matter of a few short hours I uncovered a myriad of 'red flags' through some online searches and again, I declined the offer.

Still I'm unemployed. Still I have monthly payments, mortgages, bills, and children who need fed. God is still faithful! I trust my 'prayer requests' aren't seen as complaints, but as what they are. I hope my declining of two offers aren't viewed as me being unreasonable but as following what I believe to be the Holy Spirit's lead. I beg each of you (all 3) to join me in praying for the right opportunity; one in which my needs will be supplied WHILE I bring God ultimate glory! I know you are praying and I thank you already!

If, however, you happen to see obvious blind-spots in my job search I trust you will care for me enough to pull me aside and point them out!
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Decisions

2009-04-14T18:54:00.005-04:00

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The job I was offered yesterday was with HealthMarkets. HealthMarkets is affilliated with and offers benefits through NASE (National Association for the Self-Employed). Coupled with the 'membership' benefits is access to health/life insurance through Mega Life and Health and Mid-West National Life Insurance Company of Tennessee.

Everything seems/seemed legitimate, but then I stumbled across this today.......
Ripoff Report - HealthMarkets
Ripoff Report - NASE

How does a person know what's truth and what's fiction? How am I supposed to sort through the racket when NOTHING else has surfaced on the occupational horizon?
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Job Opportunity

2009-04-13T17:33:00.004-04:00

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Please pray for me as I make an occupational decision. I received a call back today making me a solid offer, a 'how soon can you start training' kind of offer. It would be outside sales in the Richmond/Muncie, Indiana area out of a Fishers, Indiana office. The catch is the 100% commission based salary. While the opportunities are endless the risk seems as equally great with my family and monthly monetary needs. The product/service being sold is membership into a buying network offering small businesses the buying opportunities of larger corporations, along with affordable life/health/dental insurance.

Quite frankly, I'm scared; but if this is the opportunity the Lord wants me to accept, I welcome the challenge! Please pray that I will make an educated, responsible and Spirit-led decision! I also have two other (local) possible opportunities.
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Marvelous Grace & Mercy

2009-04-10T22:11:00.002-04:00

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Several times in our communion service tonite the thought was presented that no matter how hard we ran, God ran harder. I was struck by it! At the end of the service I had my Bible open to Isaiah 64 & 65 on the table in front of me. As we were invited to bow our head for a final, closing prayer my eyes fell on this at the beginning of Isaiah 65.....

I permitted Myself to be sought by those who did not ask for Me;
I permitted Myself to be found by those who did not seek Me.
I said, 'Here am I, here am I,'
To a nation which did not call My name.
I have spread out My hands all day long to a rebellious people,
Who walk in the way which is not good, following their own thoughts,
A people who continually provoke Me face to face,
Offering sacrifices in gardens and burning incense on bricks; (false (idol) worship)
Who sit among graves and spend the night in secret places;
Who eat swine's flesh,
And the broth of unclean meat is in their pots.
Who say, 'Keep to yourself, do not come near me,
For I am holier than you!'

....no matter how hard I ran, He ran harder and overtook me in spite of myself!
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Prayer Requests For My Second Week Away

2009-04-06T05:35:00.002-04:00

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- Protection over my heart, mind, thoughts and actions
- Physical protection over Renita and our children at home
- His will regarding Tuesday's job interview
- Opportunity to spend time with Josh, Tom, and others according to His will
- Time to finish preparing for Thursday evening's chapel service at NCCF
- Attitude which reflects the character of Christ in the face of life
- Courage to overtly live, speak and display the gospel to those I'm working/staying with
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Answered Prayer?

2009-03-13T12:16:00.003-04:00

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I spent the morning following up some resume's I had distributed over the last few weeks. As I left home this morning I deliberately prayed that God would guide my day, asking Him to show me the doors He was opening and closing any doors the devil may open in an attempt to distract me from God's perfect plan. My pursuit seemed mostly unfruitful, but not hopeless.

On my way back home the wheel of my vehicle fell off. Literally. I was driving south on 127 and SNAP, there it went...........

Suddenly my plan for the noon and after was changed. It kinda makes me wonder if God was in it?

Hmmmm?
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Organized Occupation

2009-03-04T19:53:00.002-05:00

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I had a job once. I've actually had several jobs in my life. I tried to make them work, but they never did! Once I even had a boss lie to me! Can you imagine, he lied to me outright. All in the name of business.
I've come to the conclusion that occupations are unnecessary for satisfactory human experience. I can be human and not have a job. Period.
Now I'm angry that everyone tried to keep me locked up in organized occupations all my life. My parents never told me; my bosses never told me; my teachers never told me; no one ever told me that I wasn't obligated to work. Rather, they all told me quite the opposite. I've been hurt and abused by organized occupations.
Organized occupations are just a way for people to control one another and impose their own personal preferences on their fellow human beings!

I hereby stand against organized occupations! Who will stand with me?

Sound foolish? Why? When someone takes the same approach to 'organized' church we consider their foolishness as worthy. We try to treat them cautiously so as not to offend them or 'drive them away'!
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Job Search

2009-03-02T10:07:00.002-05:00

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Two weeks ago today I was 'downsized' for the second time in 15 months.

The job search arena is brutal!
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God Delivers His Chosen

2009-02-05T08:33:00.002-05:00

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As I have been on marathon read through the scripture I have become impressed with the thought of how God ALWAYS delivers his chosen people. Sin has consequences, choices have effects; but nevertheless, regardless of the extent of the rebellion, God WILL deliver his elect from their enemies and give them victory!

That is comforting!
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Intoxicated by Culture

2009-02-02T09:16:00.001-05:00

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What are the things you love about being American? Think about those things. Also think about the things you particularly appreciate about your own town. Sure there are things about the USA, and even your local town, that aren’t according to your own specific preference but don’t think about those things right now; spend time thinking about the positive things. America has a unique, free culture. Along with freedom, America offers cultural things like baseball and hot dogs. Whether you like these things or not these things make America what it is. A country without baseball and hot dogs is no less a legitimate country, but it’s not home. We like home.

Now consider that your child tells you he is leaving the country; moving out without looking back. Not only is he moving away from America, but he is also renouncing, relinquishing his American citizenship. Not only will he not enjoy the small-town benefits of America but he will no longer enjoy the benefits of American citizenship either.

Now suppose that your child moves to Denmark; marries a Danish wife; becomes completely entrenched in Danish culture (even to the extent of mocking fundamental American qualities). Your grandchildren are raised in a somewhat similar, yet quite different, culture than you live. They not only have no appreciation for American culture they also have no affinity for American symbols such as the American flag; or icons such as Ronald Reagan.

None of these things enhance life, but they’re all things associated with the culture we know and love. Each of these things speak to our heart of home.

How many of us have been on a trip and noticed across a parking lot a vehicle with the same state on its license plate as ours? Upon closer investigation you find that they’re also from the same county as you also. Instantaneously you’re friends with the individuals. Why? Because they’re from home! Perhaps if you saw that same person in Wal-Mart last week you would have been fuming at them for taking the last (particular item) off the shelf, or because they were rude by pushing into line ahead of you when you were in a hurry; but suddenly your feeling neighborly toward one another because of your connection to home.

A few weeks ago I posted a post titled Slow Fade. Through comments (public and private) I realized that not everyone understands the permeation of the religious culture I have been raised in. Well meaning, good intentioned friends have made unintentionally unkind statements because of their ‘own pathetic lack of empathy’ (to quote one of them). I have written this post in order to hopefully expose that each of us are permeated, immersed culturally, some of us have just been ‘fortunate’ enough to be equally consumed by a religious sub-culture at the same time. While I understand that these religious things may not necessarily represent Christianity or the kingdom of God, they DO represent a familiar culture which is not easy to shed.

If I would have one request it would be this, be gracious and merciful with us (whomever ‘us’ may be) as we slowly emerge from the cultural influence we’ve been intoxicated by.
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How Many Lawyers Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

2009-01-29T14:07:00.002-05:00

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Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement. Whereas the party of the first part, also known as 'the lawyers' and the party of the second part, also known as 'the light bulb' do hereby agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (light bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e. the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination ofthe area ranging from the front (North) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just through the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (light bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:

1. The party of the first part (lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (light bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (light bulb) in a counter clockwise direction, said direction being non-negotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part (light bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first part (lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second part (light bulb), notwithstanding the aformentioned failure of the party of the second part (light bulb) to perform the customary and agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part (light bulb) may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party of the first part (lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as the non-negotiable directional codicil (counter-clockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (lawyer) throughout.

2. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (light bulb) becomes seperated from the party of the third part ('receptacle'), the party of the first part shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (light bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local, and federal statutes.

3. Once seperation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (lawyer) shall have the option of beginning the installation of the party of the fourth part ('new light bulb'). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse procedures described in step one of this self same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being non-negotiable and only until the party of the fourth part (new light bulb) becomes snug in the party of the third part (receptacle) and in fact becomes the party of the second part (light bulb).

Note: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (lawyer), by said party of the first part (lawyer), or by his or her heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him or her to do som the objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of the aforementioned front (North) door consistent with maximisation of ingress and revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as 'The Firm'.
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Rick Warren's Invocation

2009-01-21T08:23:00.004-05:00

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I've scanned the blogs this morning thinking surely someone was discussing Rick Warren's invocation, but I didn't find it at a quick glance. Through the years I've been hard on Rick, and I'm admittedly not his best fan, but I was pleasantly surprised at his boldness. Granted, Rick's invocation wasn't profound or theologically top-heavy, but it was clearly prayed to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel in the name of Jesus who taught us to pray, 'Our Father who is in heaven............'

I was impressed.
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Take Me In

2009-01-16T14:22:00.002-05:00

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This song ministered to me today. I've always loved it, the message is so pure, so clean, so simple--take me past all the religious expression about you and bring me into your presence!!

Take me past the outer courts
Into the Holy place
Past the brazen altar
Lord I want to see Your face
Pass me by the crowds of people
The priests who sing Your praise
I hunger and thirst for Your righteousness
And it's only found one place

Take me in to the Holy of Holies
Take me in by the blood of the Lamb
Take me in to the Holy of Holies
Take the coal, cleanse my lips, here I am
Take the coal, cleanse my lips, here I am
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Slow Fade

2009-01-13T17:22:00.003-05:00

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I'm afraid.
My greatest fear is creating a circumstance in my life, and the life of my posterity, that I will regret throughout the remainder of life (and eternity). I've grown up all my life hearing statistics quoted of people who have 'taken the same path' and have become regretful of irreversable consequences. I do not want to re-create such a dilemma with my own dear children and their children, ad nauseum.

Can I be brutally honest? I'm afraid of walking entirely away from the anabaptist heritage/lifestyle which I have been handed. While I find myself continually frustrated to the point of insanity with it, I'm afraid of losing it also. What will my children 'look' like in a few years if there's no external restraint placed on their experience? What will my future generations believe if there's no tradition-based foundation to build belief upon? To what extreme will my posterity go in order to find ultimate fulfillment if there's not (dare I say) peer pressure to approve/disapprove certain activities?

These questions are absolutely absurd, and I know it; nevertheless, lately my heart has been almost locked-up with worry about them. Why is it so hard to let go of some things? Coupled with the fear, and compounding it no doubt, is the fact that seemingly 3-5 times a day I keep hearing the Casting Crowns song, Slow Fade. Every time I hear the chorus I almost shudder in panic.

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade,
choices are made,
a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade.
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In Memory

2009-01-09T10:09:00.002-05:00

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As I sat at my desk this morning studying and having my morning quiet time/devotion I had a nagging feeling that there was something significant about January 9th. I mentally ran through the list of all my friends and their birthdays/anniversaries. None of them aligned with today. Throughout the morning I continued revisiting the issue but coming up empty as to what the significance was.

Sometime around 9:00 my dear wife called me and asked, 'Do you have any idea what today is?' 'No', I replied, 'but I know it's something because I have something in my spirit.' 'You really have no idea?', she asked. 'None......what is January 9th? ........Jan 9......Jan 9......Jan 9.......OH MY WORD!!! I CANNOT believe I forgot!!'

3 years ago today my own Dad 'exchanged time for eternity'. How could I EVER miss something as life-altering as that?
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Happy New Year

2008-12-31T09:48:00.001-05:00

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Sin is not hurtful because it is forbidden but it is forbidden because it's hurtful.
-Benjamin Franklin
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Time To Go?

2008-12-27T17:27:00.004-05:00

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I met a friend/brother for breakfast this morning. During the course of our reciprocal conversation he asked this question, 'How do you know when the Lord is leading you away from one church to another?'

To give you some background, this brother and his wife are part of a conservative, Brethren congregation which adheres to a larger, conference minded brotherhood of congregations. This particular brotherhood is experiencing quite a bit of dissention and confusion among its ranks thereby leaving many wondering the same thing this brother asked. One interesting note, based solely on my own personal experience, questions like this seem to be unique to conservative Anabaptist congregations. (I could be wrong in this, but that's another debate for another blog post.)

As we continued our conversation I felt like the Spirit was saying that often the Lord doesn't give us specific direction regarding 'church'. I went on to explain that denominationalism was never God's idea for his people therefore for Him to lead us away from one denomination into another is to endorse something that is outside His perfect plan. Instead He has given us His mind regarding fellowshipping with other believers and coeporately worshipping together and expects us to gauge our current experience by His word. If our experience does not align with our understanding of His word, then the time to move is now. If our experience does align, where else would you go? Further, I felt like the Spirit was saying that if we cannot endorse the creed of our current congregation then how can we continue the pretense.

However, recognizing the possibility for me to have a slanted opinion regarding this specific situation; and recognizing that the spirit of the prophets is subject to the prophets, I ask each of you reading this if it seems consistent with God's character. I don't ask this because I need to get 3, or 5, or 12 of you to agree with me so I can pat myself on the back, but because I want to make sure that I haven't given dangerous advice. Also, I am fairly sure that this friend will frequent this blog and may benefit from input other than my own.
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The Tribe of Aaron

2008-12-16T22:24:00.002-05:00

Verse of Encouragement

2008-12-15T21:39:00.002-05:00

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I was full of suggestions this evening when Renita asked me which verse should be used as an holiday encouragement on our family picture. Following are some of the suggestions:

First, I recommended Hezekiah 3:3 (she rolled her eyes).
Second, I recommend John 3:3 (again she rolled her eyes).
Then, thinking I was quoting Repent and be baptized every one of you... I recommended Acts 2:15. Upon turning to the reference she read ...for these are not drunken as you suppose. I think that one's perfect!! I guess you'll have to wait and see whether it was the final selection.....
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Prison Preaching

2008-12-15T05:45:00.003-05:00

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I appreciate good preaching. As a student of scripture I find myself drawn, especially, to good expository preaching. That being said, I find my personal preaching/teaching style to be one of exposition and explanation rather than topical sermons dealing exclusively with contemporary subjects.

Recently I received a letter from the administration at NCCF stating that there would be some significant changes within the institution. Because of these changes, all of the current population would be moved w/in the next 6 months and replaced with an entirely new population. My current ministry approach has been one of teaching 'raw' scripture w/o fluff and sugar. I began on August 14 teaching through the parables of Jesus sequentially and I am currently on track to conclude this teaching on August 22, 2009. However, between now and then my entire congregation will be replaced with a new one. What should I do?

Rather, the question I am really asking is this...how important is sequential exposition in a prison ministry? Would the congregation be better served if I were to relax my approach and take a more topical approach addressing issues as they presented themselves? Should I take more time in researching the felt needs of the congregation? Should I give Biblical-based motivational speeches on topics such as acceptance, forgiveness, victory over sin and good Christian living instead of such methodical teaching from the text?

I've always taken the approach that a prison congregation is no less a congregation and whether I'm free or incarcerated the Word of God is alive and powerful.
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The Fools Who Never Learn

2008-12-08T13:33:00.001-05:00

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How many times must we run face first into the religious wall before we get the point that God doesn't want us to live in that bondage?
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Goodbye

2008-12-02T21:02:00.001-05:00

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vaarwel
au revoir
auf Wiedersehen
arrivederci
adeus

I’m finished. My thoughts have been consumed with whether or not you’re offended far too long. It’s over.

acabado
rifinito
fertig
de finition
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The Secret's Out

2008-11-29T21:20:00.000-05:00

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I just read this and found it very interesting. I guess you just never know about some people.
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No Stones To Throw

2008-11-25T08:13:00.002-05:00

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The following is a letter in Plain Truth magazine.

A mega high-five to Martin Davis for his
observations on “Christians in recovery” in
the September/October PT. He correctly
observes that “too many Christians are
afraid to admit our (post-conversion)
failures and shortcomings. Instead we spend
enormous amounts of emotional energy
trying to maintain the façade that we are
among the chosen, that our commitment
to Christ is unwavering and that with
girded loins and the shield of faith we
have overcome the giants in our paths.”
Oh the hypocrisy that pervades so
much of the Christian community as we
“fall prey to the exhausting belief that we
must make ourselves acceptable to God
(and to each other) by becoming faithful,
money-giving church-goers, perfect parents,
financial successes and untiring prayer
warriors.”
The need of the hour, as Davis clearly
explains, is to “break the chains of legalism
and ‘shouldism’ that hold us in bondage,
by truly realizing that we are already
loved and accepted by our heavenly Father,
just as we are, [and] then perhaps we
would be free to accept others just as they
are, not as we think they should be.”
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The Battle

2008-11-24T05:28:00.002-05:00

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The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy... John 10:10a

...[the devil] accuses [the brethren] before our God day and night. Revelation 12:10c

Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord, and Satan standing at his right hand to accuse him. Zecariah 3:1

...Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat; Luke 22:31

...your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8b

Then Satan stood up against Israel and moved David.... 1 Chronicles 21:1

Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came among them. Job 1:6

The above quoted verses convince me that the devil is determined to destroy me. Sometimes my experience feels like he's being way too successful.
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God Didn't Come To Save The Angels

2008-11-20T06:41:00.004-05:00

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...God didn't come to save the angels.
If He did, there'd be nothing to do.
But He saw a world filled with imperfect people,
And He gave His life for He knew
That He had to save all these imperfect people.
People just like me and you.

This chorus from Mark Bishop really spoke to me last night as I heard my children listening to it. I've heard this song a million times and I even knew the chorus by heart, but somehow last night when I heard it it spoke to where I'm living right now. Being a musician, it's common that song will touch my heart and speak truth to my experience in a way that not much else can. Regardless of what method the truth was delivered, I'm simply glad that this truth is true!!
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Washed

2008-11-19T07:56:00.002-05:00

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As I was sitting in a restaurant waiting for my comrade to show up last night I felt the urge to pick up my Bible and read. Being the ever skeptical one, I resisted making all sorts of excuses. First I argued that I didn't want to appear 'hyper-spiritual' to the fellow patrons, when I knew I was feeling anything but spiritual. The urge wouldn't subside that easy, though. Secondly I argued that I was simply being sensational and hoping for a 'quick fix'. Still the urge was strong to pick up the Book and read the first thing my eyes fell on. Back and forth the argument went in my mind. Finally I concluded that I had nothing to lose.

Upon picking up and opening up my Bible I noticed I was in the book of Psalms (naturally, since Psalms is in the middle of the book). The argument presented itself to my heart to go elsewhere and find 'substance'. However my eyes fell on Psalm 65.

There will be silence before You,
and praise in Zion, O God,
and to You the vow will be performed

I connected with this verse, I was silent. My last several weeks, and specifically the last few days, have done nothing but reveal the depth of my depravity. I find myself having nothing at all to offer to Him except broken pieces and trash. I simply have had nothing to say to him. I have been silent before Him, out of necessity; yet I choose to praise Him and remain commited in my resolve to Him.

O You who hear prayer,
To You all men come.

This verse didn't really jump or dance before me, but it did reaffirm my knowledge of God's faithfulness to hear when we pray. This verse also told me that even though I'm silent before Him, if/when I do speak He will hear. Not only will He hear, but He's the only one to call on; I have nowhere else to go.

Iniquities prevail against me;
As for our transgressions, You forgive them.

Upon reading this verse, I melted. This verse was the exact feeling of my heart being expressed. Iniquities prevail against me. Prevail! Iniquities are overtaking me. I have felt overtaken, overpowered, overcome and powerless against the iniquities which I have become all too aware of in my life. I have even expressed this feeling to a few brothers (some of which understood and some of which didn't). Suddenly I find, in the scriptures, the exact feeling I have been living with, yet the finish on the verse deals with it. He has forgiven our transgressions! Hallelujah? HALLELUJAH!!! Iniquities overtake me, but God STILL forgives my transgressions. Suddenly I'm glad I opened the Book. I'm being 'washed by the water of the Word'. And then...

How blessed is the one whom
You choose and bring near to You
To dwell in Your courts.
We will be satisfied with the goodness of Your house,
Your holy temple

.....and then I realize that GOD is the who has chosen me! I am blessed because of His choice to choose me. Sure, I'm worthless, broken and empty, He chose me. Sure, I'm a sinner and a wretch, He chose me! Sure, I have nothing to offer Him, He chose me!!!
I am satisfied with the goodness of HIS house!!
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Life

2008-11-18T10:55:00.000-05:00

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Sometimes life just comes at you hard and fast and all you can do is hold on and hope for the best!
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Pride and Prejudice

2008-11-15T08:23:00.000-05:00

Spiritual Claustrophobia

2008-11-06T20:52:00.002-05:00

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claustrophobia - an abnormal fear of being in enclosed or narrow places.

Is it possible to suffer spiritual claustrophobia?
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Obummer

2008-11-05T05:05:00.000-05:00

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The United States of America is officially an Obama-nation!
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Dear Dad

2008-11-01T18:54:00.002-04:00

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As I was mowing my mother's lawn today her neighbor's 15 yr old daughter came out of the house and started walking down the road. At 15 she is in 'mid-bloom' and no doubt struggling (as with any mid-teen) to find her identity. The thing I noticed the most about her was her particular choice of clothing. Her long-sleeved blouse was extremely low cut, maximizing the minimal amount of womanhood she possessed. Given my age, she is young enough to be my daughter and that caused me to consider my own daughters. I have two daughters ages 11 & 8.

As I continued to mow I began praying, asking what causes an innocent girl such as this to dress in such a provocative way. (That's the pious version of what I did.)

(The natural version goes like this.) I said to myself, 'My daughters will NEVER be caught in public looking like that. (The actual version lies somewhere between those two responses.) However, the thought came to me that daughters seek their father's approval. Just as I notice who and what is around me, my daughters notice what catches my attention. When I second-glance a scantily clad female my girls register this in their sub-conscious as a way to get Dad's attention. When I comment on the beauty of a seemingly less than credible female my daughters again file that information away for future recollection.

As these thoughts flooded me I suddenly realized that the exact opposite could also hold true. If I comment on the genuine beauty of a fully-clothed and serene, peaceful lady my daughters will realize that serenity and peace are qualities their father admires in women. As I interact with their mother (with all her old-fashioned qualities) in such a way that they can recognize true passion and love, their inner person which is seeking acceptance from me will emulate their mother's qualities in order to gain their father's attention and approval, will they not?

And what about our sons? Our sons also notice how 'true' men act toward women and what kind of women 'true' men recognize. Sons tend to imitate their Dad. As a recovering pornography and sex addict I take this fact serious. I have begged God to break any chain of addiction and give my sons true freedom in this area. My sons are 10, 3 and 1. I hope and pray that as my sons watch their father live life, they will see that godly qualities and character are the most admirable attributes in a wife. I pray that the Lord will continue to deliver me from the sexual bondages I have been challenged with in the past so that my sons can enter life and marriage with right concepts.

But now the question rides on you! Dad's, what kind of women do your sons and daughters witness you 'admiring'? Does your glance stray or stay too high or too low when female's are around? Can you make eye contact with women and be satisfied or must you examine their anatomy further? Men, your children ARE watching you. Your sons are learning how to treat women and your daughters are learning what kind of woman to be.
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Free Concert

2008-10-31T05:33:00.003-04:00

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Diary of a Backslider

2008-10-28T06:19:00.001-04:00

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You remember it like yesterday. After years of struggling to find peace you finally recognized your need for something or someone outside of yourself to accomplish the task. Maybe you’d spent all you life on the streets of one of America’s cities plagued with loneliness and acceptance finding only a meager belonging in the low ranks of a gang; or maybe you’d been raised going to church learning Sunday school songs and joining Bible clubs.

Nevertheless, the time came when you recognized that you were a fake. After years of pretending to be tough and participating in every questionable activity imaginable; after years of quoting scripture and dating the preacher’s daughter; after years of wearing the right attire and blending with the crowd you had to admit, never had you experienced for yourself this genuine acceptance and peace that others claimed. Not even once had your life felt like it was less than out of control.

Then came the day you’ll never forget. You wrote the date in the front of your Bible and forever the details are etched into your memory. You remind the devil of that day on a regular basis as you mock his attempt to pull you back into your old habits and attitudes. Was it during the solitude of a nature walk? Was it at the altar in a revival meeting? Was it in a private discussion with another individual? Was it in response to a gospel message or tract? Was it a street preacher, a parent, a friend, a sibling, a child, a lover? Regardless of who it was or what the events you finally felt full acceptance from God.

Never before in your life had you been so honest about yourself. Much of what you confessed no one knew and yet you felt so clean, so free, so alive! How could this God who you had feared all your life even want to accept you after He knew all you’d done? Not knowing all the answers to these questions you accepted them and reveled in your new found spiritual and emotional freedom.

Each day found you experiencing new and deeper truths from the Bible. Each week found you eager to attend church and connect with other believers. Strangely, it almost seemed you were family. Week after week, month after month you maintained a zeal for others to know and experience what had happened to you. You spoke freely of your Savior unashamed of who may hear and what they may think. Often you would sit late at night, or rise early in the morning just to listen to the solitude so that His voice wouldn’t be drowned out by life’s noises.

Your hunger for His word was insatiable and you carried your Bible everywhere you went. Every conversation with your fellow believers soon found itself to be a discussion of God and His love, mercy and grace. You’d rise early to attend prayer breakfasts. You’d stay late to bask in the acceptance you felt at evening worship sessions. Simply put, you couldn’t get enough of Jesus.

As a meager attempt to assist in the distribution of this message you joined various ministries. Soon you were obligated to quit attending the evening worship sessions in order to organize the next outreach effort. These kept you late into the evening and you fell into bed exhausted from a full days work followed with a full evening of administration. Prayer breakfasts were replaced with a few more minutes of sleep. Seldom can you find the time, much less the energy, to spend entire nights in prayer and intercession anymore. You can hardly remember the last time you experienced solitude and you’re not sure you even remember what His voice sounds like.

Life comes at you full steam ahead and between raising children, full time employment and multiple ministry opportunities, not to mention Sunday morning church services, Wednesday evening Bible study and Friday evening youth group gathering you live just over spent. All that you do and everywhere you go is for, about or because of Jesus, and yet you hardly know who He is anymore. You find yourself asking…

Where is the blessedness I knew
When first I knew the Lord
Where is the soul refreshing view
Of Jesus and His word?

Just a few short years ago you laughed at the devils attempts to draw you back into your old, carnal, sinful lifestyle. Now it seems the devil’s laughing at you because you’re there. Once again you find yourself dabbling with old habits. Old attitudes are flaring and your responses are less than noble at times. The strength you once had to resist the ‘firey darts of satan’ now seems to be gone and in its place nothing but a weak, half-hearted praise song.

How did it happen? When did it happen? Why did it happen? No one knows, but this is sure, you have backslidden! Life has overtaken you and you have succumbed. Do this, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer than when we believed. The night is almost gone, and the day is near. Therefore let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.
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Gone Fishin'

2008-10-18T11:36:00.001-04:00

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I'm gone fishin', how about you?
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Some Things Never Change (I Guess)

2008-10-08T20:53:00.003-04:00

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Regardless of the fact that it was nearly 18 months ago that I 'left the fellowship' of the German Baptists. I just found out tonight that the ghosts of fellowships past still haunt me spreading rumor and sowing strife. The sad part is people are listening and consequently I'm still living in the same drama that the 5 years prior to my 'departure from the faith' was plagued with.

*sigh*

Can I just give up?
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Prayer Subject

2008-10-07T05:01:00.003-04:00

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Do any of you lack a subject for prayer? If so, please pray for/with me as I prepare for Thursday nite at NCCF. The next parable I'll be expositing is the parable of the sower and the seed along with the parable of the lamp (since they occur together in the text)(Matthew 13:3-23, Mark 4:21-23, Luke 8:4-18). For some reason I'm having a difficult time getting my mind around the emphasis of this text. I'm not satisfied to simply spend 45 minutes discussing the details of the Jesus' object lessons; rather I desire to share the same message He was sharing as He used these parable's originally.

Please pray that I will be led by the Spirit of God as I prepare and deliver this message.
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Roman Catholic 'Dogmatic Constitution on Divine Revelation'

2008-10-05T12:06:00.001-04:00

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It is not from sacred Scripture alone that the Church draws her certainty about everything which has been revealed. There both sacred tradition and sacred Scripture are to be accepted and venerated with the same sense of devotion and reverence. Sacred tradition and sacred Scripture form one sacred deposit of the word of God, which is committed to the Church... The task of authentically interpreting the Word of God, whether written or handed on, has been entrusted exclusively to the living teaching office of the Church, whose authority is exercised in the name of Jesus Christ... It is clear, therefore, that sacred tradition, sacred Scripture, and the teaching authority of the Church, in accord with God's most wise design, are so linked and joined together that one cannot stand without the others, and that all together each in its own way under the action of the Holy Spirit contributes effectively to the salvation of the souls.
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We Blew It!!

2008-09-29T07:04:00.002-04:00

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Ok, so I'm the 'Christian who thinks we blew it'. What have we blown? We've blown it when it comes to following our Leader and His lifestyle.

I preached yesterday from Luke 7:36-50 about the story of Simon and Mary and the subsequent parable that Jesus taught. The entire crux of the message was that Simon was a typical church person who thought his life was all together while Mary's life obviously wasn't. Mary was a prostitute. The irony was this, without Jesus healing Simon's leprosy he would have suffered a painful, debilitating, humiliating, seperated, agonizing death. However, once Simon's leprosy was healed he somehow felt justified in judging Mary because she was a low-life, scum-of-the-earth prostitute who obviously had major issues.

Simon reflects too many Christians. Too many of us, myself included way too often, think our life is all put together (which its not, if we'd be honest) and that somehow that qualifies us to sit as judge on our fellow man. It don't, people! Paul asks in Romans 14:10, 12, 'Why do you judge your brother? We will all stand before the judgment seat of God. So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God.' If each of us will answer for ourselves, why do I think it's necessary to pre-judge another? My judgment will not affect what conclusion God comes to, will it? Absolutely not, but somehow we think we can do God a favor by pre-determining whether a person is genuine, or sincere, or legitimate, or 'save-able'; and that's where we blew it!! God doesn't need us to be His deputies. He doesn't need a deputy, He's got it covered on His own.

We (Christians, church people) blew it and it's time to repent!!
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By Way of Announcement

2008-09-25T05:42:00.002-04:00

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My wife's oldest son from her first marriage, Corbin, has given his life to Jesus and would like to make his commitment public by receiving baptism.

This service will take place at the Poplar Grove Meeting House on Saturday, September 27 at 5:00 P.M.

Following Corbin's Baptism will be a time of singing and fellowship in the church basement. Bring finger foods or sandwiches to share.

All are welcome to come share in this celebration.
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Hear the Promises

2008-09-24T06:01:00.002-04:00

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For some reason I feel like I'm supposed to share these scriptures that the Lord gave me this morning. I don't know what they mean to your circumstance (nor to mine, for that matter) but His promises are sure.
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Hosea 6:1 Come, let us return to the Lord. For He has torn us, but He will heal us; He has wounded us, but He will bandage us.

Deuteronomy 32:39 See now that I, I am He, and there is no <’elohiym> besides Me; it is I who put to death and give life. I have wounded and it is I who heal, and there is no one who can deliver from My hand.

1 Samuel 2:6 The Lord kills and makes alive; He brings down to hell and raises up.

Isaiah 30:26b …the Lord binds up the fracture of His people and heals the bruise He has inflicted.

Job 5:18 For He inflicts pain, and gives relief; He wounds, and His hands also heal.
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And HE Answered In The Wind

2008-09-22T05:22:00.004-04:00

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The company I am employed by, MulchPlus of Ohio, Inc, has had an interesting journey over the last couple months. I think it's fair to say we were in survival mode when I started on April 28. Gradually over the next several weeks our conversations started gravitating to a more deliberate approach toward our market share. We entertained many, many marketing and operational approaches. Once our busy spring/summer mulch season relaxed we even became somewhat more intentional in our exposure. First we printed new business cards in an attempt to capture brand equity. Secondly, we entered a relationship with our local print media to create 'Top of Mind Awareness' of MulchPlus. Thirdly, we became deliberate in our direct marketing approach of calling on potential customers. And somewhere in the middle of all that we found ourselves praying, seeking and asking for guidance and wisdom in our business model. Psalm 99:6b-7a says They called upon the Lord and He answered them. He spoke to them in the pillar of cloud. We called and He answered, but He spoke to us in the wind.

One average day Jesse and I are in the office doing what we do when a man walks in. This happens regularly, so we thought nothing of it. This man introduces himself as the owner of a pallet factory in Springfield, Ohio. Pallet factory's tend to produce a substantial amount of 'broken's', pieces and generally unusable pallets. We in the mulch industry refer to such material as post-consumer waste. This kiln-dried material holds color enhancers quite well and is a premium feed stock. Incidently, I had been pursuing relationship with another pallet production facility in an attempt to secure just the material supply that this man has available. We three talk for a while and decide that someday either Jesse, or I, or both, would travel to Springfield to see his facility and his supply. John explains that we could have the finished material if we were willing to grind it and get it out of his way. He suspected that there was 6,000 yards of finished material. Pallet company #1 desires to sell me their material. Pallet company #2 says, 'its yours if you grind it'. Hmmm.

Curtain drops. Next scene.

On another average day at the office I was going about my routine tasks when an average looking man with jeans, polo and a bill cap walks in. He introduces himself as being the job supervisor from a clearing company from 'down south'. He explains that his company is clearing a 42 mile stretch across our county for a natural gas pipeline and they need a place to dispose of the ground material. Would we be interested? 'Sure', I say, 'we're always keeping our eyes open for supply'. He says, 'good, there will be approximately 120,000 yards of 'first grind''. 120,000 yards? Did I spill my coffee? No, but only because I wasn't holding a cup. 120,000 yards??? (Typically we sell 20,000 yards +/- annually.) We just hit payload! It's ours for the having. Yet, in spite of all this, we still aren't seeing the 'big' picture. First, we haven't seen any connection between Springfield and this clearing contractor (which there isn't, only that both are clear answers to prayers we almost forgot we prayed). Secondly, we had been fretting that we would not have paying work for our labor force over our 'down' season, and now it drops in our lap. 120,000 yards worth.

And then the wind blew. Softly at first, but it it blew, nonetheless.

Sometime after all the 'happenstance' of two men approaching us I contacted a playground mulch distributor in PA about becoming a local manufacturer. Almost immediately after that contact MulchPlus was approached by a local playground mulch distributor regarding us manufacturing for them. Now we have two playground mulch distributors seriously considering us as their local manufacturer.

Also, as an outlet for our 6,000 +/- yards in Springfield, we contacted the largest bag mulch manufacturer/distributor in Ohio and they expressed interest in our feedstock in Springfield. All of it. How soon can they pick it up?

And then the wind blew. Hard. Hurricane Ike, to be exact. Ike blew all the way up to and through the Miami Valley. Trees down, limbs down, brush everywhere.

Monday morning caught us by surprise. We knew we'd be busy as people brought us their brush from the weekend storm, but never did we imagine the storm that would continue to blow all week. First the City of Middletown contacted us wanting to coordinate for the residents of Middletown to dump brush in our yard at their expense. Next Liberty Township called and in a 20 minute tele-conference we coordinated a similar arrangement with them. Then we contacted the city of Monroe and a third arrangement was made with that municipality.

Suddenly we realized that our advertisement dilemma was solving itself. We cried out to the Lord (about advertising exposure) and He answered in the wind. Immediately every resident in Butler County knows the name and location of MulchPlus of Ohio, Inc. and we didn't have to spend a dime to accomplish it. Rather, the local cities, townships and the county officials themself were promoting our establishment, AND paying us to do it. Not only were they paying us, but they were also taking responsiblilty to contact the local television, radio and print media on our behalf. Income, advertisement and raw stock supply issues all resolved simultaneously. And He answered in the wind.

Then as we put our heads together we realized that we, as a company, needed to pursue beyond our immediate locale and make ourselves available to various other jurisdictions for assistance in their clean-up efforts. Suffice it to say I've talked to mayors, city managers, public works directors, county solid waste managers, commissioners, street department supervisors and more. In a matter of a week I've been in court houses, city buildings, high rise offices and county offices. Each time as the secretary started to head me off I would introduce myself and my service and invariably someone would emerge from a back office and within a matter of minutes I'd be sitting face to face with a high goverment official at whatever level I was approaching. Impossible, unless the Lord's wind blows.

Then one day, mid-week, as I was sharing this with a brother the song, Don't Let Me Miss The Glory by Gordon Mote started playing and it hit me. I was recounting it all from a natural, can-you-believe-it mindset and I was missing the Lord's glory in it altogether. Not anymore.

We called upon the Lord and He answered us. He spoke to us in the wind. Don't let me miss Your glory, Lord!
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I Laughed

2008-09-20T22:49:00.002-04:00

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....hard!

Our family went to Greenville and watched our brother, David Pendleton's, gig tonight.

We laughed.
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Rumor Has It...............

2008-09-18T07:29:00.003-04:00

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Our very own, David Pendleton, is going to be in Greenville, Ohio doing what he does best. Where's he going to be?, you ask. Rumor has it he's going to be at First Congregational Christian church, 115 W 5th St at 7:00 pm, Sat nite (September 20).
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Warfare

2008-09-11T09:26:00.003-04:00

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Our enemies are not people, but evil influences.

The devil is trying to steal peace, kill personalities and destroy relationships. I stand against it. He (the devil) is bent on destroying my ministry and testimony. He seems to be stopping at nothing, even attempting to turn my own against me in order to undermine the message of Jesus through me. In Jesus' name I claim back the areas of relationship the devil is bent on destroying.

We will be victorious!!
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Religious Mathematics?

2008-09-09T19:55:00.002-04:00

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I asked a brother today why it seemed like churches always were obligated to resolve to the lowest common denominator. However, as I considered it further I concluded that it's only in those churches which lack solid leadership that it happens. Those churches with strong leadership seem to be continuing to press forward into the kingdom while those with weak (or no) leadership at all are sitting around keeping the weak, squeaky wheel from being 'offended'.

Just an observation!
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Lusts

2008-09-03T11:41:00.002-04:00

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I have concluded myself to be a man totally given over to appetites. I have absolutely no will-power. Controlling me are appetites, desires, longings and lusts. I have no power against my own desire to fulfill my fleshly longings. Nothing frustrates my spirit more than my own inability to say, 'No'! Just because something is legal to me does not mean it's necessary or advantageous.
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Say What?

2008-09-02T05:15:00.002-04:00

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Wife (to husband): You were a lot freer in your spirit last summer when we were going to (name of previous church) than you have been lately.

How's a husband to respond?
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Try Jesus

2008-08-22T05:40:00.004-04:00

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......if you don't like Him the devil will always take you back!

We've probably all seen the bumper sticker. I saw it again the other dayand, for some reason, this time it almost offended me. I was so frustrated at its message that I almost got out at stop light and conversed with the driver of the car about it. The attitude of many Christians simply bothers me.

Obviously if a person has a bumper sticker like this they consider themself a 'Christian'. Also, this is probably considered by them to be 'witnessing', and that is why I'm so angry at the whole situation. It's not consistent with the scriptures. Maybe I'm over-reacting. Maybe the first time it was ever stated it wasn't stated with intention of being contrary to scripture. Maybe it was even 'cute' and 'catchy' to those who initially heard it. However, we cannot use principles which are inconsistent with scripture to further the kingdom of God. Can we?

Try Jesus. Where does this thought come from? I find quite the opposite message in scripture. I don't find a casual approach to the Savior taught. I find things like Luke 14:28-33 For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him, saying, 'This man began to build and was not able to finish.' Or what king, when he sets out to meet another king in battle, will not first sit down and consider whether he is strong enough with ten thousand men to encounter the one coming against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. So then, none of you can be my disciples who does not give up all his possessions.

That doesn't sound like a 'give it a try what do you have to lose attitude', does it? Rather, it sounds like an intentional, pre-consideration realizing that once committed its all or nothing. Jesus hasn't called us to 'give him a try'. He's called us to radical discipleship. No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God, He said (John 9:62) Try Jesus? Hardly the message of scripture.
Our churches are full of people who are trying Jesus, and our collective witness is weak because of it. We have been called, challenged, commanded to 'Follow Me'. That means 'forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead. If we aren't 'sold out', completely convinced, radical in our 'following' Christ, never will we 'witness' with any power.

So, Try Jesus.....if that's all you're doing, the devil still has you. __________________________________________________

General Update

2008-08-19T05:28:00.002-04:00

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I read the book of Nahum this morning. As I was reading there were two phrases that jumped out at me. Before I give you the phrases, let me remind you of the setting of the book of Nahum. Nahum is written about/to Nineveh. Nahum is full of warning, judgement and destruction. However, in the midst of all that God's goodness and favor are still seen. Nahum 1:7 says, The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows those who take refuge in Him. Grace. Favor. Mercy. Nahum 2:2 says For the Lord will restore the splendor of Jacob like the splendor of Israel, even though the devastators have devastated them... Grace. Favor. Mercy. _________________________
We went to Mechanicsburg Christian Fellowship yesterday. The service was uniquely interesting. I have never experienced a 'collective worship' service like it before. Early in the service the Spirit prompted different ones to openly confess sin issues in their life. As this happened others spoke truth and life to the issue while still others prayed. We sang, we danced, we cried, we laughed, we prayed, we worshipped, we clapped, we shouted, we wept, we experienced God's body drawing closer to one another through Him.
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Greenville Fellowship had a vision meeting Friday night. Where there is no vision the people perish, and since we don't desire that we came together to again state our vision. The format was more of an open forum. Each person present was given opportunity to share their 'vision'. There was much discussion on celebrating and embracing diversity. Diversity of gifts. Diversity of talents. Diversity of style. Diversity of presentation. Diversity of personality. Diversity of conviction. Diversity of preference. However, as acculturated American anabaptists, I'm afraid (for us) it's easier said than done. As I stated on Rich's site, 'I think it's possible to mistake the ability to articulate a 'vision' for the ability to perform it. Once articulated, a vision must be prayerfully and humbly pursued. NEVER should we rest simply because of our ability to describe a vision in human terms.' Another thought I had during our discussion Friday evening (and Brian eluded to it, but never specifically stated it), 'we absolutely MUST arrest any critical spirit within our hearts if we have any hope of enjoying the blessing of diversity'.
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I can't decide whether God is trying to 'shake up' my dogma (as one brother suggested) or if the devil is trying to hi-jack God's work. Last Thursday nite I began a series on the parables of Jesus at NCCF. The intent was to record each message and make them available through the chapel so those who missed some of them could stay sequentially with the text. After the service we discovered that the recording was empty. 52 minutes of.......................nothing. So we go Saturday with intentions to move to parable #2 and hopes of capturing a recording this time. Saturday we discover that the problem Thursday nite was the mic jack in the new recorder is broken. Also Saturday, we lose over 1/2 of our service time because of an unscheduled 'housing move' and the subsequent security count. This left me in a bit of a lurch. Since I didn't feel like I had time to give the next parable sufficient examination, and due to the recorder issues, I reached way back into the archives and preached a message entitled, 'Will The Worshippers Arise', with a basic call to genuinity of Christian experience. The 22 (as opposed to 122) men who showed up responded favorably.

I suppose I'm just learning what it means to relinquish control to the One who IS in control.
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It's Me, O Lord....Standin In The Need of Prayer

2008-08-09T12:58:00.003-04:00

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I am saved by grace, apart from works. I am born-again. I am a child of God. I am 'in the kingdom'. I am saved forever because Jesus lives and is making intercession on my behalf. No one can pluck me out of His hand.

I am spiritually arrogant.

Since all of the above quoted verses are true, I find my flesh becoming bolder and bolder in its cries for attention. What does it matter? Oh, sure, I shouldn't 'continue in sin so that grace can be seen in abundance' but grace will abound if need be.

Simply put, I have become calloused toward the depraved, sinful nature of my heart.

I beg each of you to pray that God will, by His Spirit, break my heart over the exceeding sinfulness of my own heart.
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Attn: Church

2008-08-01T07:35:00.004-04:00

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I ran across this post in another blog. I think it's our wake-up call. Remember what Nathan told David after his sin with Bathsheba? Wake up, church, sure we're 'saved by grace apart from works', but our neighbors/friends/acquaintances/co-workers/enemies are watching how we live. They are looking for a 'religion' which will positively affect those areas in their life in which they recognize genuine struggles. Read.

How I Stopped Being a Christian
from tolerance_for_all

I was raised a Christian and up until the age of 15 was definitely a strong believer. Church, youth group, mission trips, you name it, I was there. My youth pastor, a man I'll call Jeff, was a trusted mentor and someone that really gave me a lot of my ideas and beliefs about God and following Jesus.
Imagine how surprised I was when I get a phone call saying that Jeff had resigned and was being investigated by the FBI. It turns out that pastor had been involved in recieving and distributing child porn for a long time. As you can imagine, all my ideas about Christianity were sort of blown out of the water. How can I follow the teachings of a man who can't practice what he preaches? At that point, I didn't turn my back on God but I did decide I needed to step away from the church. After having someone else tell me what to believe my whole life, it was time for me to start figuring it out for myself.
During the following years, I went to church occasionally and had nothing against those that did, but I knew that I really needed to find my own faith. I needed to question to be able to grow. So upon entering college, I did not join a church. The hypocrisy and intolerance were things I really didn't want to be around, and I saw no problem with taking a little time to do some soul-searching.
Well, I met a Christian boy at school, and even though I consider myself agnostic I didn't think it mattered. Let me just say that I do not drink, I do not do drugs, I do not sleep around, and I am headed toward medical school so that I can become involved in Doctors Without Borders. He, on the other hand, drank, smoked pot, and was with many girls. But he informed me, often, that I was headed straight for Hell.
When I saw that those who I was learning from weren't exactly taking me down a path that made sense, I started to study things for myself. I studied the Bible in depth, as well as the Koran and Torah, and I am still learning. So these inconsistent men didn't necessarily drive me away from Christianity, but they did cause me to take a deeper look, and I didn't like what I found.
You can question how strong my faith was in the first place since I fell away, but I can honestly say that I hope to never have a "strong" enough faith that I continue to blindly follow, even when things are clearly not as they should be.
So those were the two main situations that made me step back and say 'Wait a second, this religion isn't making a whole lot of sense'. I think that too often, people use religion as a reason to persecute other people and preach lives they aren't living. I don't want to be told that I need church in my life, or told what to believe - nobody has the moral authority to decide what is right for anyone else. Maybe, just maybe, it's time for the Christians to step back, and examine how they are living their lives before they condemn someone else.
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Schedule on a Crash Course

2008-07-31T10:30:00.002-04:00

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I am facing a ministry dilemma. My dilemma is this, I believe in and am committed to expositional preaching/teaching; not only expositional preaching, but preferably sequential expositional preaching; line upon line, precept upon precept, verse by verse, thought by thought through the writings of Scripture. What does all this have to do with my dilemma? This...

Recently, at the prison where I minister, there have been significant scheduling changes. These changes have divided the entire population into three groups for all activities (chow, rec, religious services, commissary, school, etc). These three groups have religious services on a rotating schedule week by week. One week group one will have services Sun 10 am and Wed 7 pm. The next week group 2 has that schedule and group one has services Sun 2 pm and Thur 7 pm. The next week group 3 has the first schedule, group two the second schedule and group one has services Sat 2 pm and Tue 7 pm.

My ministry team has two services a month. Our service schedule is the second Saturday at 2 pm and the third Thursday at 7 pm. Here's the dilemma, two services, three groups. In any given month, because of their schedule, I'll minister to two of the three groups. On the next month I'll minister to one of the groups from the previous month and the third group. Add to this confusion a fifth Thursday (or a fifth Saturday) and suddenly I've seen one group twice before seeing another of the groups again.

My question is this, how does one maintain consistency of sequential exposition to any (and all) given group within the chaos of that particular service schedule?
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Can You Disagree?

2008-07-25T07:57:00.003-04:00

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Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
-Walter Lippmann

That which has always been accepted by everyone, everywhere, is almost certain to be false.
-Paul Valery

The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.
-Sir Richard Francis Burton

Anybody can observe the Sabbath [or any of the other 'letters' of the Law for that matter], but making it holy surely takes the rest of the week.
-Alice Walker
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Pondering the Deep Thing of Life!

2008-07-18T08:36:00.002-04:00

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Is atheism is a non-prophet organization?

Why do phone companies give you a number to call if your phone doesn't work?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding what is it expanding into?

Corn oil is made from corn, Olive oil is made from olives, so what does baby oil come from?

Why don’t roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Why do you often see a shoe lying on the side of the street?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?

If a cow laughed would milk come out its nose?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injection?

How come you never hear about grunted employees?

If a parsley farmer is sued can he garnish his wages?

Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID?

Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

Why do we have to dry raincoats?

Does chewing gum lose its flavor on the bed post overnight?

Why do doughnuts have holes?

Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?

How can there be self-help groups?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why do we call it a hamburger when it is made from beef?

Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly?

If you're born again do you have two belly buttons?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation or a murder?

Why do corn flakes and Sugar frosted flakes have the save number of calories per serving?

Where do all the missing socks go?

Why does the psychic hotline ask for your credit card number? Shouldn't they already know it?

Why does slow down and slow up mean the same thing?

If air travel is so safe, why do they call it a "terminal"?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Just before someone gets nervous do they experience cocoons in their stomachs?

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

What does the Q in Q-tip stand for?

If a mute swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Why doesn't onomatopoeia sound like what it is?

If the cops arrest a mime do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

How do they get deer to cross at the yellow sign?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

If something was miss-spelled in a dictionary how would we know

Where do swear words come from?

Was the only reason God gave us a shin is to find things in the dark?

Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called a shipment but when you transport something by ship it is called cargo?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Does a fish get cramps after eating?

If fire fighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?

If you're an atheist and swear on the bible, have you committed perjury?

If horrific is akin to horrible, why isn't terrific akin to terrible?

Why is it when a door is open it's ajar but when a jar is open isn't not adoor?

If it is zero degrees outside today and it is supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they get Teflon to stick to the pan?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

If someone with multiple personalities robs a bank who is charged with the crime?

Why do old men wear their pants higher than young men do?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read all right?

Why is yawning contagious?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why do banks charge you a " non sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, than who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Is there another word for synonym?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

If a man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Why don't we get goosebumps on our face?

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

Why is it when you get from here to there, you're still here and not there?

What are preparations A-G?

Why do men's bicycles have crossbars?

If vegetarians eat vegetables what do humanitarians eat?

What is the purpose of that little ball on top of the flagpole?

Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why do they call them straight jackets when they are never straight?

If 75% of all accidents occur within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

Why is it that when you are driving and looking for an address you turn the radio down?

How does the guy who runs the snowplow get to work in the morning?

If a person kills their clone is it murder or suicide?

Can your face actually freeze while making ugly faces?

Why do they say new and improved? It can't be new if it was improved can it?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

If trailer parks didn't exist would tornadoes exist?

If WalMart is lowering prices daily, how come nothing in the store is free yet?

If you can't drink and drive why do gas stations sell beer?
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But You NEED Structure.......!!

2008-07-17T09:04:00.004-04:00

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Fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva (FOP), is an extremely rare disease of the connective tissue. A mutation of the body's repair mechanism causes fibrous tissue (including muscle, tendon, and ligament) to be ossified when damaged.
There is no known cure for FOP.

I heard a quick diddy on the radio yesterday about this disease. The announcement went on to say that death is imminent for FOP patients; or basically, TOO MUCH STRUCTURE IMPEDES LIFE!!! I already knew that, though!
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Get Real

2008-07-16T08:17:00.002-04:00

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When I first heard about this I thought it surely wasn't true. I figured it was some kind of joke and someone was just having fun on their blog or something. However, sadly enough, it's true! Apparently some people don't take the Word at its word!
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The Act of (Personal) Justification

2008-07-14T11:11:00.002-04:00

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Why does it seem like conservative, religious types always have to justify every decision they make? In my dealing with many different conservative, Christian cultures I've found that they seldom do anything because. Instead they have thought through and reasoned every act and are prepared to justify every act, every purchase, every decision. Why can they not say they did something, 'simply because we wanted to'?
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Maintenance Issues

2008-07-08T09:23:00.003-04:00

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We've all had one. You know, that high maintenance vehicle that 'nickle and dimed' you to death. That one car that you should have sold long before you finally did. Replacement was an viable option many miles before it was actually a reality. The car that was almost like a family member, name and all. Eventually, though, the time came when you simply had to remove it from the fleet because it was costing too much in constant repairs. The time had come and it had to go. You could no longer afford to have it in the family. The parting was hard, but necessary because of the out of pocket expense it caused you on a routine basis.

Everyone knows what I'm talking about. We've all been there.

There are also inter-personal relationships which border on the same issue. You know, those 'high-maintenance' friendships. That friend who always has a problem needing a solution. That person who always sees the one cloud on the distant horizon. That person who pulls down the atmosphere of every room they enter and every conversation they engage in because of their tendency toward gloom and doom. You know who I mean because you've met them. We all know them. They're in our churches. They're in our small group. They're in our circle of friends. They're everywhere.

Surely sometime it's necessary to weigh the cost with the benefit received from such a relationship. Surely it's eventually excuseable to cease intimate relations with such an individual. Certainly such a person drags others down. No one can deny a sense of premonition when that person enters and relief when they depart. Why should you be forced to maintain such a relationship?

Are their problems legitimate? Possibly. Are their concerns valid? Probably. Do they offer verifiable dilemma's? Likely, but shouldn't they just 'act' happy? Shouldn't they force a bounce into their step and a chirp in their voice? Shouldn't they smile in the face of such disaster as they seem to perpetually experience?

Shouldn't they?

Shouldn't we?

Shouldn't I?

Could someone check my fluids? Please!
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Random Quotes on Prayer

2008-07-03T05:46:00.002-04:00

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If Christians spent as much time praying as they do grumbling, they would soon have nothing to grumble about

When thou prayest, rather let thy heart be without words than thy words without heart.
-John Bunyan

Prayer requires more of the heart than of the tongue. –Adam Clarke

He prays well who is so absorbed with God that he does not know he is praying. -St. Francis of de Sales

The fewer the words the better the prayer. --Martin Luther

We are not told that Jesus ever taught His disciple how to preach, but He taught them how to pray. – D L Moody

Some men's prayer need to be cut short at both ends and set on fire in the middle. -D.L. Moody

Prayer is not eloquence but earnestness
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Letter from God

2008-06-27T05:46:00.003-04:00

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Dear Aaron,

I remember how devoted you were when you were young in your relationship with me. Every promise you made was pure and you followed through in simplicity. You followed after, seeking me through whatever wilderness, whatever barren situation. You, Aaron, were holy to the Lord.

What did I do against you that you distanced yourself from me and walked after empty things and became spiritually empty? You quit asking, ‘Where is the Lord who saved me from my life of spiritual bondage, who led me through barren experiences, through snares and pitfalls, through spiritual drought and darkness, and through places where it seemed no one had ever been before?’ I brought you into a land of spiritual blessing but you came into it and became complacent and thereby scorned your spiritual inheritance. You quit asking, ‘Where is the Lord?’

I will continue wrestling with your will. Can you change gods where there are no other gods? You have, however, changed your glory for that which does not profit. Be appalled at this, and shudder. You have committed two evils. First, you have forsaken me the source of living water. Secondly, you have chosen other sources of inspiration and they simply have no inspiration for you, nor ever will!

Remember when I saved you from empty religion? But you said by your actions, ‘I will not serve God.’ Every chance you get you return to a religious way of thinking. Even though you jump through pious hoops, you cannot hide your desire from me. How can you say, ‘I’m not being religious?’ Look at your history and attitudes.

As a thief is ashamed when he is discovered, so should you be. You who would rather choose format over faith to give inspiration. You who would rather choose rules over grace in relationship with others. In that manner you have turned your back on me yet in a time of real struggle you will cry out to me to save you. Where are your gods of religion that you’ve created for yourself? Let them save you from your troubles.

Why do you wrestle with me? You’ve transgressed against me. I have vainly sent situations in your life to call you back to me, but you claim innocence.

Aaron, I want you to know this, I reject those things in which you trust (religion, empty rules), and neither will you prosper in them.

For My Glory,
Your Father,
YHVH
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Religion, Inc.

2008-06-24T05:16:00.003-04:00

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religion - a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects:

I hate religion. Period. I hate everything about it. I hate the way it controls a person. I hate the way it defines a person. I hate the way it imposes extra-Biblical standards on a person (I especially despise that one). I hate the way its followers despise people who don't conform to their standard. I hate the way it casts suspicion and doubt on everyone. I simply hate all that religion entails. Or at least I say I do. Yet...

...I find myself being so religious.

How can I hate religion and yet attempt to use it, simultaneously? Why is it so hard to be a disciple of Jesus the Christ without attaching all the 'stuff'? I look at my wife and children; I think to future prodigy; I look at my 'weak' brothers and sisters; etc, and in every situation I turn to religion to answer the doubts, fears and questions I have. Why? Either I hate religion or I love it. No man can serve two masters. I know that. I cannot turn to religion to answer these issues and 'give them to Jesus'. Either I 'give them to Jesus' or I get religious about them. One or the other. Period.

But I don't know how to 'give them to Jesus' so I 'get religious'. I make rules. I create guidelines. I impose standards. I generate extra-Biblical structure to keep this, or that, from happening. I draw lines. I build boxes. I attempt to get everyone in my sphere of influence to conform.

I LOVE religion!!

edit: I've had pointed out to me in private conversation regarding this issue that religion is not an inherently bad thing. I agree with that; I have to because James talks about 'pure religion'. However, in this context when I use the term religion I'm talking about the Colossians 2:20-23 stuff. You know, the 'touch not, taste not, handle not!' stuff. That stuff which 'are of no value against fleshly indulgence.'
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You Too?

2008-06-19T18:54:00.000-04:00

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Is anyone else tired of being locked in this physical world?
I'm so ready to be out of this physical body with all its limitations, desires, inconsistencies and sin!
Is it time to go home yet?
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Revival

2008-06-18T05:22:00.002-04:00

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I wish I had time to write an entire thesis about revival. Shucks, I wish I had time to write an entire thesis; ok, I wish I had time to write, period. Anyhow..........I wish I had time to articualte all the thoughts bouncing around in my head about revival and all that it is and isn't, but I'll just have to toss out a few Scriptures which have come to me lately with very little commentary and let you fill in the blanks.

Let me start with Lamentations 2:18-19... Let your tears run down like a river day and night; give yourself no relief, let you eyes have no rest. Arise, cry aloud in the night at the beginning of the night watches; pour out your heart like water before the presence of the Lord; lift up your hands to Him...
As I was reading the other morning these verses jumped off the page at me. Lately I have been feeling spiritually stagnant. My prayers have been that the Lord would revive me; that he would restore the joy of salvation to me; that he would draw me into deeper more meaningful relationship with him; etc. Then I read across these verses and it hit me like a truck...my Father has done everything necessary for my salvation. He has done everything necessary for me to be in relationship with Him, now He's waiting for me to respond. He's waiting for me to be diligent; to be genuine; to desire Him completely. He's done it all and now He's waiting for my response. He wants to answer. He wants to be sought and found. He wants me to desire His relationship more than anything else.

Proverbs 2:3-5 says If you cry for discernment, [and] lift your voice for understanding; if you seek her as silver and search for her as for hidden treasures; then you will discern the fear of the Lord and discover knowledge of God.
God wants to be found. He wants to be in relationship with us. He wants to revive our spirit. He wants us to experience things we've never dreamed of. But He knows that if we don't desire that beyond anything else we'll take it too lightly. Therefore He requires us to long, to seek, to pursue Him.

Lest anyone thinks I'm preaching a works salvation/relationship message, let me be clear that God has done everything necessary to bring us into relationship with Him. Now He's just sitting, as a Father does, with His arms out waiting for us to respond to Him. Revival awaits. Renewal awaits.

He's promised He will allow us to find Him. Jeremiah 29:13-14a says You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord. He'll not hide from us if we are seeking Him. The question is, will I seek? Personal revival like I've never experienced awaits. Am I willing to apply the amount of personal effort it takes to walk in the relationship which Christ has purchased for me?

Or will I continue being spiritually lazy?
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Cry of My Heart

2008-06-17T14:43:00.003-04:00

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It is the cry of my heart to follow you.
It is the cry of my heart to be close to you.
It is the cry of my heart to follow all of the days of my life.

Teach me Your holy ways, oh Lord
So I can walk in Your truth.
Teach me Your holy ways, oh Lord
And make me wholly devoted to You.

Open my eyes so I can see
The wonderful things that You do.
Open my heart up more and more
And make it wholly devoted to You.

It is the cry of my heart to follow you.
It is the cry of my heart to be close to you.
It is the cry of my heart to follow all of the days of my life.
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AJ Needs Prayer

2008-06-13T05:35:00.002-04:00

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Anthony Johnson, a 54 yr old black male, thinks he's the resurrected Son of God. He says you can feel scar tissue in both his wrists and he claims to have scars on top of both feet. He also says he doesn't have footprints but rather, his feet have written scripture on them. Supposedly if you were to take a footprint in plaster of paris and enlarge it you could read the text from his footprint. If he were to urinate on a sheet of paper, instead of saturating the paper it would simply look like written text. God, himself, has told Anthony that he is Jesus. He says he has accurately predicted the recent tornado's and many other natural disasters. He regularly communicates with God, but more noteworthy is the fact that God regularly communicates back; not through urges and hunches, not through written Scriptures, but through a clear voice heard only by Anthony. While walking, if God has a specific mission he wants accomplished he will simply turn the right or left leg (whichever way leads to toward the specific need) and Anthony will know to turn that way.

When I pointed him to Matthew 24:5 Many will come in My name, saying, 'I am the Christ', and will mislead many, he said, 'that's why I haven't told anyone until now, because I don't want to mislead anyone.'

The catchpoint is this, though, Anthony will readily admit to being a sinner. When asked how he could confess his depravity while claiming divinity he was without response.

Please pray, with me, for Anthony Johnson (an inmate at New Castle Correctional Facility).

Also, pray for Terry Ashcraft.
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Selfish

2008-06-12T04:58:00.005-04:00

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I was talking to a close friend of mine last night and after the conversation, as I was reflecting on it, I realized I was extremely selfish. As the conversation began he was telling me about what had been happening in his life/work/study/family and I slipped into the 'uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh' mode as I impatiently waited for him to quit droning so I could tell him about me, my work, my study, my family. Me! My life is much more exciting than his, just ask me. I really couldn't believe how selfish I was. I honestly didn't think I was, but now I guess it's obvious!
Sorry Sam!
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Words & Thoughts

2008-06-11T05:13:00.002-04:00

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Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
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Is It Genuine?

2008-06-04T10:54:00.003-04:00

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I just came upon this article about a revival in Lakeland, Fla. What do you think? Is it a genuine outpouring of the Holy Spirit? Is it sensationalism? Is it nothing more than smoke and mirrors?
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Sin vs Grace

2008-06-03T08:12:00.002-04:00

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I was totally overwhelmed this morning by the exceeding sinfulness of myself. Somehow I couldn't seem to get past it. I was totally connected with what Paul told Timothy in 1 Timothy 1:15 ...Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all. I simply couldn't shake the sense of personal depravity. I am a sinner. Above all other sinners. Or, as Oswald Chambers once said, I know that no criminal is worse in action that I have already been in thought. I am simply undone, I know that in me dwells no good thing.

And then I opened and read 1 Timothy 1:15 in context. Notice this...

I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful, putting me into the ministry even though I was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent agressor. (read that last phrase again, even though...) Yet i was shown mercy because I acted ignorantly in unbelief; and the grace of our Lord was more than abundant, with the faith and love which are found in Christ Jesus. It is a true statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all. Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life.

Then I realized that everything I was seeing and feeling about myself was absolutely true. It wasn't necessarily an unhealthy sense of self-worth, but possibly, probably a sense of genuine self-awareness. However, the grace of our Lord was (is) more than abundant and it extends mercy to me in my depravity so that He can show His patience, His love, His glory to anyone else who might believe. Then I remembered this hymn from yesteryear...

Marvelous grace of our loving Lord,
Grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt!
Yonder on Calvary’s mount outpoured,
There where the blood of the Lamb was spilled.

Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all our sin.
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I Couldn't Have Said Better

2008-06-02T05:38:00.003-04:00

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Oh for a heart to love my God,
A heart from sin set free,
A heart that always feels the blood
So freely shed for me!

A heart resing'd, submissive, meek,
My dear Redeemer's throne;
Where only Christ is heard to speak,
Where Jesus reigns alone.

A lowly and believing heart,
Abhorring self and sin;
A constant heart, which nought can part
From Christ, who dwells within.

A child-like heart, that cries for food,
And pines for Divine love;
An upright heart, by grace renew'd;
A copy, Lord, of thine.

-Charles Wesley
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